


Why Did it Feel so Strong?

by Mimijn



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2020-08-13 12:09:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20174020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimijn/pseuds/Mimijn
Summary: Kouga found her. She was in the middle of a battle with Naraku. It seems as if Naraku is testing out a new experiment.“Well...” Kouga looked at her. The trademark side of his face turned upward to her. He stood up.“I am an actual animal.” His frosted gaze was straight on her. He was making his way towards her now. One slow step at a time, to be as provocative as possible of course; and gauge her reaction if she was still mad.Kagome’s eyes were on his, they were that of a hawk. Two predators challenging each other’s contact. It exalted Kouga into that place he only faintly knew. That powerful, sinewy, habit-forming place that resolved to have her as his woman. He did not know what to call it except fascination over what power dwelled beneath her gaze. He would love nothing more than to know who she was; He would also love nothing more than to…





	1. Chapter 1

Kouga had finally came into the forest clearing. He noticed the retched scent and the only person possible of making it.

“Naraku!” Kouga shouted.

Inside the air was miasma. Upon a hill just outside was Inuyasha, Sango, Miruko, and Kagome; All poised in the defensive. 

“It’s Kouga!” Kagome shouted in his direction. She stood there, not daring to cross the poisoned air. He thought about replying, but quickly his eyes viewed the rest of the scene. Above the twirling miasma was Naraku, and he was saying something.

He started with an echoing laughter as Kouga began listening. Kouga’s fists clenched tighter. 

“Something new I have created. Even I don’t know the power it holds-” his own laughter cut him off. Naraku seemed to be holding something in his hand. It looked small. Kouga was thinking about action, he thought, getting inside the misama as an option; yet the misama was in a swirling tornado, too powerful to get a clean hit on Naraku inside. Jolting to Kagome’s side was his next instinct. The coverage of the clearing was better where he was, but it came at the price of protecting Kagome. He wasn’t able to finished his thought. The coverage of the clearing was better where he was at, but it came at the price of protecting Kagome.

A noise behind him averted his eyes. It was Ginta and Hakkaku. They had rustled the brushes and trees to hold themselves up from lack of breath. His one second of distraction ruined his chance for attack. Now Inuyasha had his sword out and was flying towards Naraku.

The leap was returned with gasps from everyone excluding Inuyasha’s target. Inuyasha didn’t have any time to begin his battle cry before a whipping gust of miasma and stingers assaulted him. Before even Kouga’s eyes could register the quick blow, Inuyasha was smashed into a tree’s side. The lashes were sizable, and the blood quickly made it’s work retreating his body. Inuyasha was groaning from pain. 

Kouga began running. Between Naraku and Kagome. Unsure of which direction to jump. He was full of rage then. Naraku Spoke. 

“No I won’t use this on the half-demon. I have someone else in mind.”

Instantly he knew who he meant. He yelled Kagome’s name. He went her direction as fast as he could; then pushed himself more. His passion for her began making his heart race against his speed. He did not know which would win out.

Kagome stood poised with an arrow. It flickered with her power. Kouga only saw the large beam of white hurtling towards her. 

Kouga leaped. He pounced himself into her. They fell to the ground; Kouga had pushed them both into safety. Kagome was not happy. The leap had hurt her and she cried out in pain and surprise. 

There was only enough time for their eyes to widen before the white beam boomeranged itself back towards Kagome. Without thinking, he grabbed her and began running. Kouga swiped Kagome so she laid in a bridal carry.

Running fast, but blindly through the forest was Kouga jumping rocks and dodging trees; completely frantic. He looked down at her. He though that all of this must have happened too quickly for human eyes, she hasn’t inhaled since he pushed her out of the way, he was running too fast for her to open her eyes or breath properly.

“Breath!” Kouga Shouted. It came out much more hostile than he had intended, but it was no time for chivalry. 

Kagome clenched every muscle she had. She was moving, jolting up and down and bobbing between the sound of foot steps. She wasn’t sure what was happening. She listened to Kouga’s demanding voice. Now he was shouting for her to breath repetitively. When her eyes opened the gusting wind dried and reddened them. Kagome saw the wild look in Kouga’s wide blue eyes. He was quickly flicking his eyes ahead of him and down at her. Their eyes met.

“Are we getting away?! It’s following you!” He said.

She looked backwards. Her eyes took in only the blinding white. She began to scream. Kouga clutched her as tight as he could. He wanted to at least protect her body as much as possible from the blast.

They caught each others eye’s again only for a split second before the white overtook both of them.

White was all they saw next. Pain was all they felt.


	2. Chapter 2

Kagome opened her eyes. She knew something was wrong; something was deeply wrong. She was in Kouga’s arms!

“Put me down! Put me down Kouga!” She yelled and pushed at him.

He wasn’t moving at first. She looked up at him, he was in a daze; his eyes were open yet glazed over. This was must be the trance she just came out of, she thought; She did feel dizzy. Kouga suddenly sprang to life. His eyes focusing at once on her. His eyebrow’s furrowed, deepening the look of concentration. “Kagome! Okay. I’ll put you down!” He said back at her as if he wasn’t just a statue. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she leaped off of him pretty quickly.

She was let down from him. She remembered why she was in his arms. The fight with Naraku; the attack that was thrown her way. They were confronted while they were on a search for jewel shards. Unexpectedly with his miasma, they were caught off guard. She couldn’t understand what happened after that, she swore that her and Kouga were hit by it. She had been in so much pain just a moment ago… why were they…

“Kagome… Where exactly are we?” Kouga said. Was he frightened?

“Huh?” She said. Then the surrounding came into her peripheral. She saw nothing. Absolutely nothing around; except the color white. She spun but with every turn all she saw was Kouga two paces away. Then she felt it.

“It’s so cold!” She crossed her arms to warm herself. Her bare legs stung with sharpness in retaliation to the freezing air.

“A frozen tundra!” She turned to Kouga. “How did this happen? How will we get back?!” She shivered from how naked she was, and shuddered as her inner thoughts told her was now along with _Kouga_! The wolf demon who wouldn’t take no for an answer!

“I don’t know! I’m not sure. We will get back, though, alright?” Kouga was trying to calm her down, she knew that. He had just raised his arms gently and took a step towards, it made her take a step backwards. She shook her head; she was disbelieving that it had to be _him. She could _ _believe_ _ being magically teleported and surrounded by snow in nothing but her school uniform; _ _she just didn’t believe it would have to be with _ _Kouga_ _._

“I know you’re scared Kagome. Everything will turn out alright. It’ll be simple, actually.” His unmistakable smile formed. “You just get on my back, and I’ll run us right out of here!”

That wasn’t a bad idea, she thought.

“Unless of course you wanted some time alone?” He touched her shoulder and gazed into her eyes. Kagome avoided the eye contact, shrank herself, and regretted ever complimenting him in her thought.

“Kouga… Listen I’m very cold and would like to get out of here as soon as possible!” She added to herself that she would also like to be surrounded by people so Kouga might not try something _too forward._ She couldn’t bear the thought that if declaring his love for her was something to do in a crowd, what exactly did he save for being alone?

“I know. I see ya shaking. I could warm you up, but I agree. It would be better to get back and see how mutt-face is doing.” He said.

“Let’s just hurry.” She sighed at the insult to Inuyasha. She looked at Kouga now. There he was with his back facing her, he dropped down on one knee, and he turned his head back in that typical smirk he saved just for making her feel awkward. She only then realized what getting on his back would entail. She frowned at how stupid confident he looked. She was going to have to put her arms around his neck… and her legs around his… around his…

As Kagome swallowed her pride went down with it. She relented on the thought that it would be over soon. She walked up to him and began to attach herself. First her arms around his neck. Kagome froze. She wasn’t about to just jump her legs around him. Kouga responded quickly. He reached behind her until he he had each hand under her knees and pulled them in to his sides. Kagome yelped in surprise. Kouga laughed and stood both of them up.

“Didn’t expect my grip to be so strong?” He smirked at her again; or maybe it had never left.

“Do not laugh!” She released her arms to beat on his back. He only laughed more. Kagome was mortified.

“I’m only laughing at how you cute are! Which way should we go?” Kouga said.

“You’re asking me?! How am I supposed to know?! Are you not the one with good senses?” Kagome yelled.

“Much better than a certain someone’s, ya’know. I can’t sense any other demon energy, or smell anything beyond snow and ice. Far east there seems to be a mountain covered in snow, and far west seems to have a forest in the same situation. Do you sense any jewel shards, Kagome?” Kouga said.

“No I don’t… I think we’ll just try a direction until we find something. Let’s go west, towards the forest, I guess.” Kagome replied.

“Your guess is as good as mine. Alright, hold on tight, Kagome. Let me know if you need me to stop or anything.” After his words Kagome put her hands back around his neck, and tucked her head into the back of his neck. Kouga began picking up speed.

There was cold wind attacking her everywhere. She was warm only where Kouga’s calloused hands held onto her legs. Her eyes were glued shut, but she could not escape her face being tightened by the cold. Her lashes felt frosted over, her nose so cold it was burning, and her lips had sealed shut from the dryness that hit via battering wind. She needed to hold on as long as possible through this.

She kept herself as warm as possible over the course of the next hours. Her only stratagems were to switch which side of her face laid against Kouga’s neck until the cold became unbearable and she needed to switch back. She didn’t want to tell him to stop running, she just wanted it to be over. She knew she could handle the pain as well as she knew she _couldn’t handle that wolf._ Kagome didn’t know how much time had passed, she gave up on her senses, all except terror soon after they started. The wind was sweeping past her ears at this speed, it didn’t allow her to pay any attention to sound. Every few minutes she opened her eyes but only saw the white of the snow Kouga picked up as he ran. Until something different started happening. She thought she heard something.

It was Kouga; he said something.

“What?!” Kagome yelled as loud as she could.

“I said do you sense any jewel shards?!” Kouga called back.

Kagome took a second to search inside herself for the feeling of a jewel shard. It always felt similar to a warmth inside of her; the calm comfortable heat she couldn’t mistake. The only warmth quantifiable at that moment was Kouga’s hands.

“No. No I don’t.” Kagome said.

Kouga began slowing down. Kagome began to hear her own thoughts again as he did so. She opened her eyes to find they were still surrounded by ice. She desperately hoped they would be somewhere else by the time he stopped, but she couldn’t say she was surprised.

She felt Kouga lower her and let go of his grip. Kagome’s next plan was to free herself of her hands from around his neck; her hands were so freezing and dormant it was a tight sharp pain to move them. She looked down at both her hands they were bloated, and dark red.

“I have to warm up Kouga. I’m getting frostbite. Can you make us a fire?”

“Frostbite? I’ll see what I can do about a fire...I’ll need a few things. I stopped here because the sun was almost down, we are going to need to build a camp for the night.” Kouga dashed away right then. He left Kagome with many questions on her mind. She took her arms under her armpits. The cold seared and the flesh of her hands was tingling. Kagome noticed she couldn’t feel her feet either… At least Kouga didn’t waste any time leaving for fire supplies. If only she could get Inuyasha to rush like that, and it seemed like Kouga didn’t even know what frostbite was!

Now Kagome looked at her surroundings. The forest was in sight now. Before it was only Kouga’s eyes that could see it. She looked down and realized how hopeless it was. She had to rely on someone else completely in this environment. Kouga didn’t even care that it was cold! Where their bodies had been touching Kouga’s temperature did not seem to drop by a single degree; this was unfair. Kagome only dimly realized she was not thinking straight. She didn’t know what she was just thinking about, and still her fingers couldn’t move.

Her eyes were heavy. Her legs felt weak. She gave into both of their commands.

“Kagome! Kagome!” Something shouted at her. She ignored the voice. It kept yelling, it began to shake her.

“Mom... Just give me five more minutes...” She managed to say.

“Kagome, open your eyes! It’s me, Kouga!” She didn’t bother listening. Warmth was felt suddenly at the back of her neck; it was a gentle. Her hands were both taken and clasped together with more warmth. It burned _dearly._

_ “Open you eyes!”_ Her cheek burned. She obeyed now. As her vision attempted to come into focus she saw eyes that were trying to make contact; they looked like glaciers. She thought this must have been the voice yelling before. Kagome’s brain wasn’t completing the convoluted equation to figure out who it could be; everything was foggy about her vision and thoughts.

“Oh.” She whispered.

“Whats wrong? What do you need?” It whispered back in its critical tone.

“You know... warmth I think.” She blinked slowly. Her brain had not turned on yet. She was thinking something about a test coming up. She needed to pick up food for Buyo too, she was pretty sure. Her hand lifted to the unfocused gaze on her. _Warmth just like that_, she thought. Her eyes closed.

“O-of course.” The voice said as the eyes left her view. She felt her body shift gently. She was sitting against something. Now it felt warm all around her. She heard it whisper. “Kagome...You are so cold.” It was soft, it was holding her tightly and gripping both her hands. Her legs felt the warmth too, and her feet finally responded.

“Hm… It hurts...” Kagome murmured.

“It hurts being so cold?” The voice whispered. Warm air hit her ear. It drew a shudder out of her.

“Uh-huh”

“I’m...I’m so sorry.” The warmth tightened itself around her. She stayed there. She thought it was very comfortable being held like this. She was ready to fall back asleep. She didn’t fight her eyes, which still hadn’t completely focused; neither did she fight to hold any of her weight up. The warmth around her was welcome, she felt it catch her as her limbs lost their fight; she felt safe. Rest and comfort overcame her.

Kouga had Kagome in his arms. She was resting on his lap, he gripped onto her firmly. Hesitantly he caressed the parts of her body that were so freezing. He watched her breath carefully as he warmed her up. He looked up to the sun descending into the horizon, then to the bare essentials he had found for a small fire.

“I’ll warm you up for as long as possible, Kagome. Soon we will have to make a camp out here...” He moved his hands to her ears. They were so cold. He touched and rubbed her ears; he took his time fondling the upper curve of them.

That moment soon passed. No matter how long it went by it wouldn’t be long enough for him. Kouga wrapped his arms back around Kagome, he held her hands.

“Kagome. Wake up now.” He said it in a stern voice; it was as gentle he could get without whispering or yelling. He squeezed her hands and tightened around her to punctuate his words.

Kagome began to rustle at little. She felt comfortable, she thought. She felt...what was she feeling? She lifted her head from what it had been sleeping on and opened her eyes. All of the white came into view. She waited a second for her mind to catch up. When it did, she remembered what had transpired. The battle; Inuyasha being struck. She had tried to aim an arrow Naraku’s way...And then...And then…

She tried to lift her hands to rub into her eyes. They were being held in something. It hit her.

“What?! Kouga!” She immediately realized she was in his lap. She let out a frenzied scream.

“What is it?! What’s wrong?” He said, Kagome began to struggle against him, he let her go.

She stood up. Her face was too cold to be red hot from anger and embarrassment. She looked down at Kouga’s incredulous face.

“What do you mean ‘What’s wrong?’ I was in your-! Ugh! Seriously Kouga I thought you were better than that!” Kagome turned her back to him and clenched her frigid hands into a fist. It hurt immensely to do that. She couldn’t believe Kouga, just how did that happen? Kagome thought about reaching for an arrow, she decided to listen to what he could possibly have to say for himself.

“What? Kagome- I didn’t-” He was in pure shock and anger from what she was insinuating. “You- I mean you told me too!”

Kagome turned. Her vicious face wishing she had words of subjugation for Kouga. She brought her clenched fist close to her mouth and her eyebrows became so ragingly taut her vision became blood red from how tight her eyes were closed.

“I NEVER. NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT!”

Kouga backed up a step and raised his hands in defense of himself. _He never saw her so pissed. _

“Yes you did! I mean- What I mean is that I came back with the things for the fire! You were _passed out on the floor, Kagome! _I woke you up and you only told me you needed warmth. You-you touched my face. I thought you meant-” He stopped and closed his eyes and shook his head to the ice beneath him. “Listen. I’m sorry! I would never do anything to you! You have trust in me, don’tcha Kagome?” He tried staying calm for that last sentence. It came out so desperate sounding. He gritted his teeth and his face bore an emotion it rarely ever manifested; _shame._

Kagome was silent. She took a second to think about the panic she had just felt, how frightened she had been in Kouga’s embrace. She had been jumpy since being alone with him, she thought, now her fear was been vindicated. He had _actually_ done something to her.

“No Kouga. I don’t trust you, not yet. _I barely know you at all_...” Kagome whispered

Silence overcame both of them. For Kagome the hot tears staining her face felt relieving. They were so warm; they were the wave of relief; for telling Kouga her emotion. She had so many more emotions to tell him too. It was so hard. She whispered it, but she said it. She never was honest to anyone about her emotions; she always took the path of least resistance. It had always just been easy to sit Inuyasha and compliment Kouga so he would go on his way. If she was going to get out of this she was going to have to tell him even more about her emotions. Emotions she was so scared of she never admitted them to herself until now.

She would soon have to tell Kouga that _she had no feelings for him at all._

Kouga looked down completely subjugated. His mind was spinning; no reasonable thought was found. Kouga thought about all the times he had saved Kagome; all the times his life was on the line for her. His actions spoke so highly of what she meant to him…Didn’t they? He couldn’t bare the reality of how he hurt her. He saw the look in her eyes; the unmistakably large, shaking pupils. His soul made the two tears fall to the ice below.

They stung him. The tears stung with the words she passed between them. He wanted to maim any living thing he could get his claws into. He wasn’t used to this. This sorrow threatened everything he knew about himself. The only way to survive his life up until that moment was solved with anger; something he could never feel towards Kagome. _She said didn’t trust him. _

“I’m...I’m still very cold…You know how to make a fire, right?”

_ The woman he loved did not have trust in him._


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m...I’m still very cold…You know how to make a fire, right?”

_ The woman he loved did not have trust in him._

Kouga shook with his deduction. She is changing the subject, he thought. When his mind was whirling; he knew he would have to process all this information later. Much more was needed from her.

“I’ll need to create a shelter without wind first.” He looked at Kagome. He wondered if she saw the turmoil going on in his head. Her eyes were dropped with intention from his and he knew she did. She must have she needs process too, he thought. Another conversation was needed.

“How will you make a shelter, out here? With only ice? Wouldn’t it be better to keep going until we reach the forested area?”

“No. The night out in a place like this is so cold it could kill me, even.” Kouga offered a small chuckle to himself. “Just watch this, you might want to back up a little.”

Kagome did as she was instructed. Kouga smiled and acted cocksure even after what she said. She did not regret it. Kagome did not trust Kouga yet but she did respect him; he deserved to know. _Nothing is worse than getting strung along_. she thought, leaving out why she thought that. Perhaps it just wasn’t the exact tone and wording she should have used. The issue was she did not recollect saying anything to Kouga, especially not touching his face…

Yet here Kouga was making them a shelter still. She shivered and blew hot air into her hands. Kouga was digging into the ice. Not straight down, it was angled like a ramp. He was digging just like an animal; his haunches were in the air, his face close to his digging claws. It was a respectable view of his tail. After having seen Inuyasha get on his hands and feet only to sniff the ground was always this strange reminder of a demon’s abstract behaviors. She also thought it to be cute, as if Inuyasha could not help but act like a dog despite his harsh demeanor.

“Is that how wolves’ dig?” Kagome jeered.

Kouga’s ears perked up. _A giggle? From Kagome?! _He looked over at her as he thought. She was smiling. Was she not mad anymore? Wasn’t he in trouble? He still felt in trouble…

“Yes, it is actually. What’s so funny?” He smirked to her.

“Nothings funny!” Kagome quickly directed her head away from the situation. “It’s just... You are acting so much like an actual animal!” She smiled and stifled any reaction; despite her best efforts, the smile and rosiness was apparent.

“Well...” Kouga looked at her. The trademark side of his face turned upward to her. He stood up.

“I _am _ an actual animal.” His frosted gaze was straight on her. He was making his way towards her now. One slow step at a time, to be as provocative as possible of course; and gauge her reaction if she _was_ still mad.

Kagome’s eyes were on his, they were that of a hawk. Two predators challenging each other’s contact. It exalted Kouga into that place he only faintly knew. That powerful, sinewy, habit-forming place that resolved to have her as his woman. He did not know what to call it except fascination over what power dwelled beneath her gaze. He would love nothing more than to know who she was; He would also love nothing more than to…

_ Kagome moved her eyes! _Kouga’s brain screamed at him. He froze completely. Shutting down his face and improvising a new one. A curious one that held back the smile, and lifted one of this eyebrow’s to her.

Looking away from him, she smiled; then finally laughed at him. Kouga’s exasperated feeling of being in trouble momentarily amended.

“I _was_ laughing at you before, you looked so silly digging like a wolf!” She was _smiling_.

“Ah?” Kouga’s eyebrows raised more.

“Get out of here and go make that shelter!” Kagome yelled, but it was a teasing.

“Yes, ma'am.” Was all he said after the rewarding sound. _The giggle._ Coolly he turned around and continued on his work. Luckily the snow and ice perfumed all around him as he dug. He wouldn’t be caught dead with the authentic smile he had on.

Her sweet laughter; Her devilish attitude; Her saucy toying with him; Kouga thought about everything Kagome intoxicated him with. That laugh was so sweet, her eyes so bold… Kouga could think about it all day; he decided to indulge himself only while completing the shelter.

Kouga poked his head out from under the ice. The hole had gone gone underneath the ice, which turned out to be quiet thick, found the snow underneath, continued down until Kouga found the soil. There he made a small area.

“Come on in!” Kouga crawled out.

“If its warm, then gladly!” Kagome responded. She first walked in front it it. It reminded her of an igloo, only underground. She hurried in. Kouga seemed to be sprucing up the ground, still in that animalistic manner. There was just enough room from the frozen ceiling for Kagome to sit, the only options were to sit with her legs out in front of her, or tucked to her side; She tucked them against her side. It was already warmer, outside of the wind and on solid, abet frozen, earth.

Kagome pressed her hands between her legs. She looked up. She thought it was serene here. The ice brought in particles of light from the sun; just enough to give the darkness inside a shaded cerulean glow. The hutch made up for being so short by having more ground about them. Easily Kagome could imagine having space enough for both of them to sleep.

“I just need to get the things for the fire.” Kouga crawled out. Kagome finally was able think to herself, without the immediate feeling of freezing to death. She thought about what had happened. She thought, _I suppose being stuck out in a place like this was best spent with an individual like Kouga, he seemed to know what he was doing out here, unlike me_. She frowned. What exactly could she do to help? She had spent this whole time just asking to be warm, and leaving this hutch meant having to make those same complaints. She wanted to be useful somehow.

The deprecating thoughts made her scowl when Kouga came back. She felt even worse for that. Kagome only reacted because she saw the supplies for the fire; it reminded her that she was only ever able to start fire with matches she had brought from home. Kouga _definitely_ saw. By his look he definitely thought she had frowned _at him_. Kagome brought her knees up to her chest, placed her head against it, and groaned.

Kouga, still silent, began making the fire. _It’s so much worse when hes quiet_ , Kagome thought. He must’ve been waiting for her to say something; she _really _didn’t want to. She instead looked for something, anything to do. Luckily her feet were close-by. This wouldn’t be awkward, right? Kouga never wore shoes or socks at all, he didn’t have a right to complain, she thought. Though if it was Inuyasha he would definitely make a comment about her feet being foul, and he was never wearing shoes either. She removed her shoes and socks. They looked pretty bad. She could not move her toes, but she still felt the pain in them. If she remembered from school correctly that was a good sign. She hoped it was at least.

“Oh thank goodness!” The fire began to beam before them. Kouga settled himself, cross legged across from Kagome. The ceiling touched his head.

“I know the fire is small, I couldn’t find much bramble or wood around.” Kouga said.

“It’s alright. I’ll take whatever I can get!” Kagome was smiling wide now. Putting her hands over the fire, and her toes trying to inch closer. Kouga frowned at her words.

“Kagome...about what happened earlier...” Kouga leaned in. Her tried to look at Kagome in her eyes; hers were attuned to the fire, but still she spoke.

“I’m sure whatever you said happened, _did_ actually happened. I am also sure I didn’t mean anything like that. I should’ve said it differently.” She said back to him.

“But you still should’ve said it? Just in a nicer way?”

“I...yes.” Kagome brought her eyes to his.

“I see.” He thought about her words and lowered from her confidant gaze.

“I’m not mad at you, Kouga.”

“What does this mean?” Kouga asked.

“Think about this from my point of view Kouga. I absolutely do not know who you are, only that you are the leader of a pack of wolves, and very aggressive. What do I know about where you came from; What your goals are; What your likes or dislikes are? What even is your favorite color? Can you blame me? Now, you can’t say any of that about me either.”

“I am not aggressive, Kagome! Not really, it’s just that... You always have Mutt-face around. I can tell you all those things, you can tell me things in return!” He spoke back.

“I told you before Kouga, his name is not Mutt-face, it’s Inuyasha! I guess we can learn about each other, but that doesn’t change my actions this morning, or how I feel about them. I know about your actions, and how you put your life on the line for me, and I appreciate that. Can you not see that Inuyasha has saved my life too? For someone who supposedly loves me, you’d think you would have a great deal of thanks for Inuyasha!” Kagome was raising her tone.

“I do love you Kagome! My actions speak for me. If they haven’t been enough, I’ll… I’ll change that. I don’t want to talk about _Inuyasha _right now!” Kouga was struggling with his words. “I didn’t realize… that I’ve been failing you as much as I have.”

“It’s not like that Kouga. I don’t think you are awful. It’s just...” Kagome lost her words. She was rubbing her hands together so she could pause, think, and warm up.

Kouga gritted his teeth. He was pretty sure of what was going to come next. He hoped he didn’t look as weak at he felt in that moment.

“Go ahead and say it. I can handle it.”

They saw into each other’s eyes.

“I’m much closer to Inuyasha than I am to you. I dislike very much when you try and tear him down to make yourself look better in front of me, Kouga.”

It was gentle. _It wasn’t as bad as Kouga thought she was about to say. _Still it broke him inside, still he longed to talk more. The vacuum of his thoughts froze over; he was at a complete lost for words; and Kouga was never lost when it came to having the last word. The seconds seemed to pace themselves, they allowed Kouga to look at her eyes; to look beyond his love for her. They were sad, she didn’t want to have this conversation, maybe she did but it just hurt her to form the words. He knew now that he might never know what she felt; Kagome only would let him know as much as she was willing to give, and it was hurting her.

Would whatever she told him always be in competition to what she and Inuyasha had shared? He thought. He didn’t want to take a thought like that to its conclusion, it was too messy, too complicated, and too painful.

He wanted to say sorry. He really did.

“Oh, is that all?” Kouga chuckled, laid on his back, and put his hands behind his head. _Why did I do that? I’m such a fucking idiot,_ he thought. He gritted his teeth.

“Yeah. I think it is. Let’s just relax and enjoy the rest of the fire.” Kagome spied on Kouga, she felt concerned for how that went. He was just closing his eyes, and tapping his foot.

“Are you feeling warmer?”

“Yes! I feel so much better now.”

“That's good to hear.” Kouga smiled. _At least this day couldn’t get any worse,_ he thought.

The fire had withered, Kagome lied down, she felt much warmer. She faced the wall. Her cheeks were nice and red, her hands and toes were able to be influenced. She sighed. Her and Kouga hadn’t said anything else. Perhaps there was more to say, but Kagome did not want to find out what it was. She had to focus on sleep, and sleep alone now. Getting back to her friends was something she would worry about in the morning. Her lashes gently touched her cheeks, and she let out a contented sigh.

She wouldn’t go to sleep right away, not in this condition, and not with a certain _demon_ on the other side of the hutch. Kagome’s head always had a habit of meandering before sleep; she always kept her eyes closed and didn’t move in order to sleep. That was advice from her mom. On this night of all nights she would heed it; while also trying to control her psyche. How easily she could think of _Inuyasha_ and worry…

Kagome heard a noise. _Must be Kouga trying to comfortable. _She thought to herself. She wasn’t very comfortable either…

The noise came again this time. The shuffling of dirt. _Can’t blame him, its just frozen dirt, it doesn’t feel good… _She thought again.

It came again. This time it sounded closer.

“Kouga?” Kagome sounded eerily suspicious.

“Yes, Kagome?”

Kagome quickly lifted her torso up by her hands and looked it the direction of the words. Kouga sounded much closer than she anticipated.

She saw only darkness, and she ruined trying not to move or open her eyes!

“What are you doing?!”

“I’m coming to sleep with you.” Kouga responded.

“What?!” He sounded so _innocent_, like he hadn’t just said that! She couldn’t see Kouga’s face, but surely he could see hers, and it had to be covered in embarrassment.

“Well. It’s cold out, and it will get colder during the night.” Kouga said with confidence.

“Kouga. Stop. Ew! I do not want to know where you are going with that!” Kagome fastened her response; hoping it would make him just go back to his side.

“What’s the matter, Kagome?” Kouga said _teasingly! _She couldn’t see, but she could hear him smirk through those words.

“You know what the matter is Kouga! I do not snuggle with anyone for warmth, alright? I’ll be just fine!”

“What? Never?” Kouga asked.

“Don’t sound so confused Kouga, I’m not falling for it!” Kagome gave an exasperated breath through her nose and went back to her sleeping position.

“No...I’m actually curious now. Never even for warmth? For comfort?”

“No! Of course not. Why? Have you?” Kagome said, she kept her eyes closed and tried her best to focus on sleep.

“Yes. I rarely ever sleep alone.” Kouga responded plainly.

Now it was time to get up. How could she sleep after he said that? Kouga had Kagome’s full attention now. He obviously _could _see the look she was giving the darkness; because she could hear him fumble before relaying the much needed extra details.

“Well. I always have my pack. When I’m out I never go anywhere without Ginta or Hakkaku. We all sleep in a pile. What’s the matter, don’t human’s do that?”

This was a lot of information to process. Never had she considered Kouga the type to just snuggle up and sleep with other wolves. It did make sense in a way, she thought. That they were wolf demons… But still the idea that at night Ginta, Hakkaku, and _Kouga_ all cuddled up together to sleep was an image she could get out of her head, and might never be able too. It was adorable.

“Um...No….They don’t.” Kagome finally said, she knew she was blushing. She covered all of her face with her hands.

“Really? They never do?” Kouga had a rush of feelings too. Sleeping altogether was his way of life. He never felt embarrassed about it until now. Kagome’s reaction was so _strange_. Her face was as red as his was. He was at a loss for what he should do or say.

“They do. But only when they are…only in special circumstances!” She blurted out the last part. She couldn’t believe it. She was about to say _lovers! _If she had, then Kouga might insist on sleeping together!

“I don’t understand, but... It’s really cold outside. I could keep you warm, are you sure?” Kouga asked.

“Yes. I’m sure.” Kagome said back.

“At least take these.” Kagome only heard a rumbling noise from Kouga before he placed something in her hand. She felt it, it was an immensely soft, warm strap of fur… It was his _headband!_

The headband was followed by the shoulder pads then the sleeves from his arms and legs.

Kagome was taken aback...for a few reasons.

“I always thought these were part of you. I didn’t know you could remove them...” she said absentmindedly. Kagome also was so shocked by the kind gesture. Never had she known Kouga could be so understanding...and even sweet. He didn’t even debate about her personal space.

“Heh… That’s pretty cute, Kagome.” Kouga chuckled.

In silence Kagome put all of the items on. The headband she covered her ears with; She attached the shoulder pads; The arm covers were loose on her and she could put her hands together to act as a muff; The leg covers she put on to keep her feet warm.

“Thank you… I feel nice.” Kagome said shyly...She wasn’t sure how to respond to how nice he was being to her.

“Of course...” Kouga said, but it was a pause.

There was a distinct moment of awkward silence. Kagome wondered if she should just lay down, but Kouga obviously had more to say. Couldn’t he just let it out? She began to think it would be a stupid comment about her in his clothes. Finally he spoke, the words came out unsure.

“Do you want...the rest of my dressings?”

“Rest of your-?! No! Kouga get out of here!” Kagome practically screamed in shame! _Did Kouga really offer her his entire outfit?! _She couldn’t bear the thought. Why did he think-?!

“Yes, ma’am.” He let out a gentler laugh than Kagome had ever heard. Not a teasing or prideful one like usual. Her face reddened, and she immediately laid down. _He couldn’t have actually meant that, right? _Was all she could think about.

His items were so soft. She raised her arms to her head so she could use it as a pillow. She didn’t have to focus on sleep anymore. Kagome simply pet the soft fur and rested naturally.

Meanwhile Kouga had a lot of thoughts. This entire day alone with Kagome. How could it have gone so wrong! From the first second, she wanted so badly to get out of his arms, then freezing her when he ran… Not to mention holding her to keep her warm...and just now… Kouga never felt so embarrassed. He reminded himself, _I’m an alpha! I don’t get so off-balance like this! _

He tried to recognize this and get control of himself. Still he felt his feet tapping rapidly and the frustration in his face intensifying. He wasn’t with his pack right now, and that also worried him. Kouga had no clue where he was, and he thought he knew everywhere. He had to take them home. He would have to understand Kagome better, too. Being alone with her has been the single most exhilarating and disruptive thing to ever happen to him. He did not want to fuck it up.

Needless to say, Kouga got no sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Kouga did achieve a few fitful hours of rest. He had an uneasy feeling about all of this. Nothing seemed right. He took a few moments to step out and watch the night sky. Disgusting gray clouds hung in the hair. No scent was penetrable. He felt so… unfit for this environment. So uneasy about how they ended up here… Not even a moon to howl at; _not that he would’__ve__ howl__ed__ and w__oken__ up Kagome, __of course._

Whatever was going to come, he needed to be ready for it. In the stars above Kouga looked for advice. In the freezing wind he searched for direction. He went inside to where Kagome was peacefully resting. Kouga tried to get a few more winks of despairing sleep.

Kagome woke with a large yarn. She waited for her lids to adjust to the light before she opened them.

“Hibernation over, Kagome?” She heard Kouga shout from outside.

“Can’t I wake up before you start being a smart ass?” She yelled back and began getting up. She had on all of Kouga’s coat items, but she felt chills reverberate inside her. Her mind restarted and calculated how to put on her socks and shoes. Her body felt so cramped, so sore. As she began to crawl out Kouga’s hand reached out. Kagome took it and stood up.

“How did you sleep?” Kouga asked. He went back to what he was doing, stretching his legs.

“As good as I could, so not very good.” Kagome said and she let out another yawn as her body stretched itself out.

Kouga turned to her. She hadn’t been able to see him without all his pelts in the dark, he looked so... naked. His face looked a lot different, his bangs were able to freely scatter, it made him look so much more mild. So much less...combative.

“See something you like?” Kouga laughed.

“No. I’m just lost in thought...” Kagome responded.

“What’s on your mind?” Kouga asked.

“Naraku.” Kagome said.

Kouga was silent. He nodded and took in her gaze, but it wasn’t focused. Kagome began to walk towards the far off forest. Kouga soon was by her side.

“What is his plan?” Kouga asked.

“Who knows? Send us away to a frozen wasteland to die? It would be easier to just kill us.” Kagome responded.

“Maybe he only meant to send you and I intercepted. Could his intention be for you to die out here?”

Kagome thought about that. She looked to Kouga, he looked determined; his eyes on the path before them. She tried to pull off the same look. Kagome felt the depression of not being around Inuyasha; the same sadness that led to her absolving to be by his side always.

“Wow.” Kouga said. His face was turned. He was watching something. Kagome looked.

“It’s beautiful.” The view took her breath away. There was nothing in the way of the edge of the horizon, only a few clouds yielding to the light. The sunburst color was graduating with the dark and gray. The sun steamed the frigid colors like it was red-hot steel on water. The sight gave Kagome chills. The sun was waking up to it’s day being dark and solitary, just like them; The sun was determined to make it’s way through that, and they should be too. The two watched as the first light of the day made it’s motion up to them; it passed over their bodies, and lit up what was held beyond the other side. _A new day just started_, Kagome thought.

Kouga and Kagome met with hopeful smiles.

“...Let’s keep going. We can do this.” Kagome broke the silence.

Kouga looked to the forest ahead of them, his smile wide. “Do you even know how cute you are, Kagome?” he chuckled.

But, as Kouga was starting to expect, Kagome did not like him saying that. She only frowned.

“I think I’m starting to understand something about us.” Kouga said. They had been going quiet for a time, the journey started; if they kept a good pace they could reach outlying brush from the forest. Kouga didn’t mind a silent journey, but then again he never usually had so much on his mind.

“What’s that?” Kagome responded.

“You don’t know anything about Wolf Demons, and I don’t know anything about humans.” Kouga said.

“You really don’t know anything about humans?” Kagome looked at him in disbelief.

“You are the first I’ve spoken too. I’ve seen their villages, how they can farm animals and plants, that’s all.”

“Hm. That clears up so much, actually!” Kagome laughed at him.

“Oh? Like what?” Kouga challenged.

“I don’t know. It could be the fact you attempted to sleep next to me last night!” Kagome mocked.

“That’s on you for not knowing how Wolves operate!” Kouga grinned.

There was laughter and amusing looks to each other. _I’m glad we can joke about it_, Kouga thought to himself.

“Anything else I ought to know about human behavior?” Kouga said.

Kagome laughed. “You’ll have to learn the hard way!”

Kouga smiled. She could banter, that was so amusing. He would like to get into a play fight right then and there, but some higher judgment inhibited his actions. He didn’t want to find out the _hard way_ whether humans fought for fun or not. If they didn’t snuggle, then they didn’t touch each other much Kouga rationalized. Mostly, he wanted to avoid getting yelled at again. It would be nice to see _one_ interaction with her not end with an argument or a slap. _Maybe even a whole day of getting along? _He hoped to himself.

Besides, he had gotten her smiling. She seemed so distraught and uncomfortable. Kouga’s brain even told him not to offer to carry her the rest of the way, since her reaction when he carried her last time. He would in a heartbeat if she seemed to need, or higher power above, _want_ him to carry her.

“Naraku would have to get us. We have the rest of the jewel shards. He can’t be that stupid. His M-O is complete the jewel.” Kagome said.

“M-O?” Kouga asked, confused.

“It means modus operandi. It’s when someone has a singular focus, or motive. It’s something we say back home...You know, in the ninja village.” Kagome said. She felt a little afraid that Kouga would call her on her bluff. _But what would he accuse me of, being from the future? _She thought to herself.

“Oh. That’s interesting. You’re right. Whatever Naraku is up too isn’t obvious…” Kouga said.

“Oh well. Whatever it is, it will be known soon. Inuyasha will come find me soon enough.” Kagome said. _That surely reminded her of something_, Kouga thought, since she stopped and removed his pelts from her.

“Won’t you be cold, Kagome?” Kouga felt troubled. _Can’t be found in my clothes once he comes to your rescue…_ He tried to hold back the thoughts, but it was hopeless; His disquieted soul contracted inside him. _Can’t be found dead in the rival’__s__ pelt…_he thought. Taking them back injured his spirit.

“Let’s just keep going, yeah?” Kagome gave him a small smile and picked up her pace. Kouga followed.

Kouga wanted to growl. Kouga wanted to bear his teeth. Kouga wanted to kill _Inuyasha_. The best he could do was clench his hands. As hard as possible, he tore his skin with his claws. His fang’s bit into his inner lip until they bled as well. His love for Kagome, but he promised not to speak badly of _Inuyasha_, and he intended to keep his promises to her; he needed to not even think badly of...that foul cocksucker…. _Inuyasha. __Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Everything is about goddamn Inuyasha!_ _Damn_. His thoughts still said want he wanted to say to Kagome badly.

He also promised once to make Kagome his wife someday, was that for her, or for him? Kouga picked up his pace, it was a speed walk for him, but a run for Kagome. _Was Kagome right? If she respects __Inuyasha__, and I respect her, I ought to respect __Inuyasha__? _He thought it was the logical, thing to do, but the image of _Inuyasha _in Kouga’s mind brought turmoil. It brought with his most basic instincts. Inuyasha brought out his primal sight signaling every node of his brain with the word _“ENEMY”. __But everything was about Inuyasha, wasn’t it? _He could never escape that, could he?

Kagome was running. Kouga was going faster and faster. She could barely keep up.

“Kouga, what is it? Do you see something?” Kagome started to say, but Kouga’s tail whipped her as Kouga passed her. It hurt, but the sting was paled in comparison to Kagome’s confusion.

“Kouga! Stop!” but he was gone. Only a powder trail in the distance. Kagome slumped. She stood for a second, utterly lost in what just happened. Was Kouga just being inpatient? She knew he was impulsive, but this was new.

“What do I do now? Wait?!” She stomped her foot and her pitiful threat echoed in the tundra, in time perfectly with her the small knock of her foot. Now the echo was taunting her too?! She folded her arms and waited. Time to give Kouga a well deserved cold-shoulder.

It was a few minutes, and her tense furious position was getting tiring. Kouga better come back and have a good reason. Kagome had closed her eyes and began tapping her foot, she didn’t see what was coming straight for her.

She screamed. Kouga was very close to her. He had on a _very_ mischievous smile.

“You know I have really good idea. Let me just carry you the rest of the way. I won’t go so fast; promise you won’t get cold.” Kouga lifted her body with ease, and slugged her around his back. He held the back of one of her thighs over his shoulder, and wrapped his hands around it and held her opposite wrist. Kouga had her in a perfect fireman’s carry. He was able to hold her tight around him and began running.

Kagome was shrieking, but Kouga was laughing. “Just like old times, eh? You even are noisy like when I first swept you off your feet! This ought to be a little more comfortable.” His fangs gleamed at Kagome who finally opened her eyes to glare at him.

“Seriously?! Not funny! Put me down! Put me down!” She yelped

Kouga didn’t respond, but Kagome could see he was smiling. His stupid attitude, right when Kagome was going to yell at him. He was going slower than last time, not so much wind beat down her temperature. She would still give him an earful, but it _was_ nice to get where they were going sooner, the optimist inside her explained.

Soon was an overstatement. It was before just sunset, but Kouga began slowing down to enter the first brushes of the forest.

“It’s still all covered in snow.” Kagome sighed.

“It’s not all bad, I can smell wildlife here, and the snow is just powder without ice. Another night will probably be spent around here, but it will be much better.” Kouga said back.

Kagome looked to the ground. Tufts of grass, and green flora were all around. The snow was overwhelming the ground, but in places with cover there was little. It would’ve been beautiful if it wasn’t going by so fast.

“Would you let me down already?” Kagome sighed. She had spent so long yelling at him and had resigned herself to the trip. Kouga had acted his usual snarky self and ignored her pleas; He even seemed to enjoy it, he was grinning so much.

“Hm...Why should I? Give me one good reason.” Kouga laughed. What a taunt, Kagome thought as Kouga slowed down enough to start walking.

“Oh I’ll give you plenty of reasons, Kouga!” Kagome said smoothly, but piercingly.

“And if you let me down right now, you won’t have to hear them, hows that?”

It was Kagome’s turn to smile, a nice, smug smile; She cornered her little wolf, and only had to beat him at his own game. Kouga’s tail stiffened first at the way she said his name. His smile was gone, and he must have felt embarrassed, his whole face looked red! Then again he had been running all day, she thought. Gently he let her down.

“Hmph!” Kagome desperately wanted to stretch her arms and legs, but it was more important to cross her arms and turn her back to Kouga.

“Kagome, don’t be so shy now! I let you down, didn’t I?” Kouga was behind her, already getting back his flirtatious aura. Kagome stood her ground. Still she didn’t move or give Kouga the response he so wanted. She simply waited for his next move, and it _better_ be an apology.

Then a soft, but insidious voice whispered in her ear, at the same time a gentle hand rested itself on her shoulder. “You aren’t mad at me, are you?” it said. Kagome shivered all over at his voice. The chill of fright, the heat of his breath, the low tone of his voice, that small squeeze of her shoulder. Kagome didn’t have time to register the situation; a small breath of surprise parted her lips and make her lashes flutter open.

Then she saw Kouga smile at her facial expression. She took a step forward and huffed angrily. _I know I have checkmate, Kouga, acting cute won’t stop me_. Kagome smiled at her thought.

“Kouga.” Kagome turned and looked him directly in his ridiculously casual eyes. Her arm’s straightened and she prepared her voice.

“I don’t know if you know this Kouga, but we humans have an expression. _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” _Kagome said. Slowly saying each word of her last sentence.

“I...uh.” Kouga lost his wit. He scratched the back of his head and felt guilty as the words sunk in; and suddenly he became extremely afraid of her.

“What I can do to make it up to you?” He said.

“Don’t worry too much Kouga, you can make it up to me!” Kagome turned and smiled to him. Her best ‘totally not a smug winner smile’. A smile that didn’t show teeth, that was so wide her vision blurred some. She wasn’t even that mad at him, he really was gentle with her, and she was even able to get comfortable. She was mad that the wind kept lifting her skirt as they ran, she had yelled at Kouga from embarrassment but he only replied that he was a gentlemen and didn’t even notice; all while making a certain facce. _That he would be paying for, _Kagome thought.

“Find us a dry place to camp, make me a fire, and find me something to eat!” she said.

“Yes ma’am! Anything else?” Kouga was in shock for a second. He quickly made his way closer to Kagome.

“Yes! Don’t call me ma’am! I hate that too!” She stomped. Kouga found it quite cute. He smiled.

“I’ll have to find something else to call you then…” He paused to look at her. She was in a mix of embarrassment, anger, and… being pleased? Her face was rose colored, her eyes were looking away from him, her tiny lips held the smallest smirk, but her voice definitely sounded angry. _Yes, cute is the perfect word to describ__e her, _he thought.

Kouga brought his face down be level with her. He waited until she made eye contact with him. “So, the first thing you said was to find us a dry place, and I would love too. May I pick you up again? Wouldn’t want your shoes and socks getting soaked again.” He said.

Kagome looked down in thought. He meant to corner her, so he might get another adorable stomp, but she was seriously pondering. Perhaps logical thinking was the best way to convey with Kagome; that wasn’t good news for the impulsive wolf prince.

“Yes, you may.” She said.

“Yes, cutie.” Kouga didn’t need to ask twice, he held Kagome this time in a bridal carry. She didn’t seem to mind.

Kouga wanted her so close, but maybe it was a mistake. Now he had her sweet head in his shoulder; her hair moving gently to titillate where his skin was bare. He saw her in full view now. Her tired stare with brown eyes that looked forward, but her large lashes seemed to beckon rest. Despite her exhaustion, she was keeping up her face glitteringly focused. Kouga wished to comfort the reason behind all of those features, but he knew she wouldn’t allow him so close; at least not yet, he hoped.

Then he saw her small frame in his arms. Her collar bone exposed behind her uniform. She must be freezing, Kouga thought. He would try to give her his pelts again tonight. There wasn’t anything available immediately to warm her was there? He wanted again to hold her against him, to keep her warm for the night, or for the rest of their lives. Kouga couldn’t help the sinking feeling that her becoming his bride was now a question of _if _instead of his usual insight that it was inevitable. The only thing making that thought bearable is that she hadn’t _said_ it to him, at least not yet. She had simply asked him to respect _Inuyasha_. He could do that for her, it seemed easier; she was laying in his arms. He needed to know, _painfully_, if _anything_ was between them; anything at all.

She adjusted her body until she was comfortable. She got deeper into Kouga’s shoulder, fixing his warmth next to her forehead. She placed her hands into her lap and threaded the fingers through each other. _She must be trying to keep them warm_, Kouga thought as he watched. Kagome let out a large exhale.

“Don’t call me that either.” She whispered. Kouga felt himself dumbfounded by her tone. No anger, no resentment, just a small whisper. He smiled at her, but not a smile he intended her to see. It was another of his well-kept honest smiles. The smile reminding him why he loved her so much, how feisty she was that let her keep up with him, then there was _this_. These gentle moments of kindness that always found ways to instill a heartbeat so rapid it only repeatable during a sprint; an _intense_ sprint. Kouga couldn’t help but love her, and everything about her. He needed to not be angry with her anymore. It only caused him to lash out; like how he decided to carry her earlier. He needed to take a note from her book, to be rational.

“It’s okay. We will find something to call you, together.” He whispered back.

Kouga had found somewhere to set up camp. In the underbrush of a large tree. There was _actual _ground. He had left some time after quickly setting up a fire. Leaving Kagome alone.

“Oh...what do I do?” She was close to the fire. She had one thing on her mind.

_ Kouga._

He was a nice guy, Kagome thought. He could easily get anyone he wanted, so why her? She was taken, right? _Right… If you ask that to Inuyasha he would say otherwise_, she thought. She did not want this, she didn’t want Kouga! She would want Inuyasha in this situation, to have close moments, she did not have feelings for Kouga. Kouga was an angel, erm, handsome wild demon; every girl’s dream. Yet when Kagome thought of him she felt complicated feelings arise. She felt it to be annoyance, anger, and ineptness; she suddenly knew why she had this reaction to Kouga.

_ That fight…_ The fight with Inuyasha where he made her say she didn’t like Kouga, and despite that, Inuyasha got jealous anyway and her only option to stop the argument was too go home… _Oh...Poor Kouga...being held captive by Inuyasha’s __insecurity __like this__. _Kagome realized _that _was why she would never respond to Kouga, never look at him for longer than a second, or listen to what he had to say before waving him off. _All that just so Inuyasha wouldn’t get jealous…_

What if she changed all that, she thought. Not be afraid of any reaction from Inuyasha, and be his friend? Kagome slid sideways until she was laying on the ground. She was feeling at fault, she messed with a tuft of green that was growing near her eyes.

“Kouga..he doesn’t deserve the way I’ve treated him...” She sighed.

She waited for him to come back. It didn’t take long. They exchanged greetings, Kagome watched him get to work. She asked for food, right? Was that what he had? She couldn’t see from where she was laying down, but she couldn’t be bothered to get up either. She settled on watching the only part of Kouga that was visible from her side of the fire, his intense look of focus. His fangs stuck out from his subtle frown, his eyebrows furrowed. Kouga has such large blue eyes. They had tiny pupils, just like that of a wolf's, which makes sense, but the glow was incredible. The blue globes looked over to her suddenly, and Kagome had to act fast back to her tuft of grass.

“Um… What do humans eat?” He asked.

“Just normal stuff, roots, berries, meat and fish” She replied.

“Well… I could snatch a rabbit or a fox from around here. I don’t recognize any berries here, and I couldn’t tell you where to find roots. Most of what I eat is meat.” He said.

“Hm...On second thought, let’s work on food in the morning. You are forgiven Kouga. Just make sure to ask before you grab me next time.” She flew him a smile. He seemed surprised, but he did return it. Kagome watched him as he made his way over to her.

“Hey, Kagome...” Kouga said. She was still laying down, she looked up at him. He sat down crisscrossed near her head.

“Hey, Kouga.” She said back with a pinch of cheer in her voice. He smiled and puffed out his air. _He seems a little nervous? _She thought to herself.

“Wear my pelts for now, please. Don’t give them back.” He was frowning as he said it. His eyes held a wave; a wave of something behind those words.

Kagome had taken them off earlier, returned them to Kouga. She was secretly hoping that…

Kagome came to a realization. She muttered a sound as her lips opened from it.

“What was that?” Kouga asked.

Kagome sat up, she faced Kouga.

“Thank you Kouga, really. I’d love too.” She said.

That’s when Kouga smiled and stammered. “Anytime. Ya’know...Anything you ever need. I’m-”

Kouga took both of Kagome’s hands.

“I’m the same as you. I never accept help. Maybe we’ll both learn what we can do for each other out here. Listen...I reacted badly when you gave them back-”

“No. Kouga stop-” Kagome tried to interrupt.

“I was mad because I know you would never accept them from me if... _Inuyasha _was around. I would really like you to answer something for -”

“Kouga! Stop!” Kagome tried louder and took her hands away from his.

“Please! Just tell me what you feel-”

“SIT! BOY!” Kagome yelled at the top of her lungs as she sprang from the ground. The instant after she covered her idiot mouth with both hands, but it was too late. Kouga had sprang up too. His eyes were wide.

“Are-Are you serious?!” He sounded vexed, bewildered. Kagome didn’t know if he would yell or madly laugh.

“Kouga. It’s not like that. I just-”

“Just what!?” Kouga looked at her, he was biting his bottom lip with his fangs, looking furiously at the fire instead of her. The reflection of heat melting his eyes stung at her as she looked. His tone was _pain_. His fists were clenched. There was silence.

What could she say? She didn’t want to have this conversation. She only just realized what _message_ she had sent to Kouga. He was confused, and waiting for an answer. Could she really tell him? Tell him she didn’t know how but she loved Inuyasha and in the process of attempting for it to be reciprocated she needed to protect Inuyasha’s insecurity, that she only realized the extent of doing so today, when she was without Inuyasha for more than ten minutes, that she was treating Kouga like...like he was another _Kagome?_

Being used to cause jealously in the other person. _Check._ Whose side could be trusted on for anything. _Check. _Never happy to see them or say they missed them. _Check._ Kagome shut her eyes. That shit hurt. She would never wish the way Inuyasha played with her feelings on anyone, but she was doing it! Bitter tears tried to form, but she was too dehydrated, too wracked with feeling.

“Heh.” Kouga let out one small laugh. Kagome looked over to him; he was back to his cool, collected self, only annoyed.

“Just admit it. _Inuyasha _is your mourned appearance.” Kouga chuckled again, his tail making an upset thwip.

“My-my what?” She replied.

“You know...the only thing that motivates you?” He raised his shoulders.

“Oh. M-O… It was modus opperandi...” She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t want too, either. As to complete her day of being a complete hypocrite, she just slouched over and cried.

“Kagome...” Kouga went towards her, he placed both hands on her shoulders. He attempted to look into her face, but it was hidden beyond distressed bangs. “Let’s not talk for the rest of the night, I’m not gonna bring this up again.” Kouga said gently, slowly his hand went under her chin, it lifted to unearth her languished face. He looked at her, and his heart raced to be so near to her, but stung from knowing it wasn’t from passion.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken it so far.” Kouga removed his headband and was putting it on Kagome carefully. He tousled her hair behind it, and tucked her ears into it. He spent time fixating it on her just right. Neither could keep up their usual act, so neither said anything. The headband was up to his regulation, and put his hands down.

Kagome laid clad in all of Kouga’s pelts again. Kouga hadn’t tried to get close to her, but helped her calm down, then lead her to where it would keep warmest if wind should come in. He laid down nearby.

“I think Inuyasha is both of our mourned appearance...” She whispered to herself, she didn’t bother thinking or feeling anything, she slept.

“I think...I think you’re right...” Kouga whispered back from where he lay. His eyes open, another night lost to thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could use another set of eyes on this. Does anyone want to be a beta-reader?


	5. Chapter 5

That night the wolf took his first succulent bite. The familiar yet rare craving for total numbness. He looked up to his night sky, but only felt perturbed. He tested all herbage for the champion. The wolf laid finally at his prize unknown to his surroundings. The only muscle he moved was his jaws. He chewed dulcet poison until he felt no more.

When Kagome awoke, she found Kouga still sleeping. She looked at him, she felt some of the same guilt and touched the fur she wore. Kouga sleeping didn’t seem real, his vulnerability out in the open like that. Hands behind his head and legs folded, his personality always seemed to assert itself even if he was quiet.

“I’m awake ya’know, not that I mind the stare.” Kouga spoke. Kagome tried not to jump, but she let out a small squeal. After composing herself she said “I wasn’t staring at you, what an ego!” and began rustling around during a yawn. Always checking if the jewel shards were still with her.

“I wonder if we can get you comfy enough to sleep while I carry you.” Kouga sung.

“I don’t want to spend another day being held.” She protested. Kouga didn’t move a muscle to get up. “Something on your mind?” Kagome asked. He slowly opened heavy lids to see _her. _A titled head looking at him questionably. His brain jolted at seeing her, but his lips deepened in their grimace.

“...I wish I knew which way to go.” He worked his muscles against his weight with a groan. He faced Kagome.

“We both must look like messes.” Kagome smiled, she giggled at him, Kouga looked just about how _she felt. _His hair ruffled in curls and swept from the running. He always had an askew suave look, not now, he gave the impression of having laid in mud and dirt… _which was apt._

“Uh-huh.” He stretched his sleeping bones. “Yeah let’s take it slow today, but still make some progress?” He scratched his ear. “I just need to go mark the territory.” He said, and as he stood on his feet, his bones all cracked in complaint.

“Mark your…?” Kagome shuddered.

“Hm? I’m guessing humans don’t mark territory?” Kouga looked at Kagome. She knew she shouldn’t have given him that reaction. He looked sideways at her with a smile, his fangs taunting her, he leaned into her.

“No. Not that I’ve ever heard of. Go, and whatever you are going to do make it as far away from me as possible!” She pointed.

“Yes, princess.” He began walking. He whispered as he walked past her, “Just ask, and I could mark you too.”, he chuckled.

“AUGH! And don’t call me that either!” She shouted to the sky. Clueless birds flew away from the outburst.

Kagome sighed. She reached up to her hair. It felt disgusting. Oily, tangled, and dirty. She brought all of her hair in front of her shoulders for inspection. She began combing at the bottom with her fingers. _Oh, these split ends make me want to cry_, she thought as she frowned. Thinking only of her modern luxuries; a much needed bath(with bath bomb), a haircut, pedicures, manicures, face masks, the full nine yards. She deserved it all and _more. _

_Oh, and when I’m home I’m going to have the finest pastries, the best ice cream, and…_ Kagome was lost in her thoughts. She didn’t even hear Kouga come back, even though he came back stretching his arms and yawning.

“Here. Let me.” Kouga came up behind her, and started working with her hair. _Eep! Oh wait, I’m still thinking!_

“Eep! Kouga!” She said. Kouga seemed to be simply cleaning her hair out. _Kouga had long hair too, so he must know how to keep a good routine in feudal times, right? _She thought. Could she ask him for tips, perhaps? Inuyasha’s hair was like silk and never tangled. “It needs to be washed. Don’t pull at it trying to make it right.” Kagome relaxed her shoulders and tipped her head back to give him better access.

“Don’t worry, Kagome. I do know how to be gentle, when I want to be.” Kouga said thoughtlessly as he worked. It felt _nice_. It wasn’t the spa day she just fantasized about, but the feeling of her hair being played with was a soothing sentimental feeling. Kagome closed her eyes, a soft sigh left her lips.

“Neither of us have gotten any good sleep since all this started.” Kouga said. He tugged loose a knot in her hair, and it freed another at her stress.

“It’s impossible to sleep well in conditions like this, the thought of whats happening, why no one has found us yet...” Kagome sighed. His hands were reaching the knots closer to her head. “Let’s just keep going...it’s all we can do.” Kouga said.

“Hm...” Kagome wasn’t paying attention, she was getting lost in the wonderful feeling. “… could you massage my scalp?” She mused, eyes still closed.

Kouga’s laughed at her, but it was so _worth it _because he actually started to do it! It felt so good, she closed her eyes and indulged as the rest of her stress and headache left her scalp and flowed down her back.

“Well, you are free of lice.” Kouga let his hands through her strands of hair a few times. He watched contented as it fell slowly around Kagome’s face.

She looked up to him as he made final adjustments in front of her, fixing her bangs and making the headband rest neatly across her ears. He spent a few seconds touching each of her ears. _Must be checking if my ears are cold?_ Kouga stood back and folded his arms, appraising his work; fangs on full display in an esteemed smile.

“Thank you, I feel so much better, Kouga.” Kagome grinned back. She tilted her head and brought her index finger to her lips. “This is a wolf thing, right? Should I return the favor?” Kagome realized she might have put herself in a predicament, Kouga had quite the mane.

Kouga brought his eyes to hers. “Yes, it is and no, there’s no need.” He waved his hand in dismissal.

“Let’s get started. Find something or someone who can tell us where we are, get out of here and -” Kagome was interrupted by herself, a loud stomach growl.

“-and find something to eat. I should recognize some roots as we go. “

“Anything else?” Kouga asked.

“No. The list is short since most likely we will have to fight something.” Kagome said.

“I see.” Kouga began walking. Kagome skipped through some snow to catch up with to him

The sun was in the middle of the sky, from what they could see between thickets of tree it was a cloudy day. Kagome was walking intently behind Kouga.

“No, this isn’t right either. Smaller!” She bid him. Kouga adjusted the space between his steps.

“No way! I can’t walk like this!” He called back.

Kagome was trying different tactics to walk in the snow without her shoes getting soaked. It was too late already, they were drenched; but she needed information for future reference. So far she tried tiptoeing, jumping between dry spots, and running before she fell in the snow. Currently she was stepping into the footprints Kouga made. His stride was far to large for her to compete with. She tried getting him to adjust it, but it wasn’t going well…

“Ugh! Stupid shoes! How do you walk bare foot like that?!” She shouted.

“Haha! I’m a wolf demon?” He teased.

“That is cheating! How am I supposed to do this, then?” She said.

“Lemme carry ya?” Kouga said innocently. Kagome stopped walking. Kouga stopped and turned to face her. She was looking to the problem below her.

“I...don’t want you to have to do everything for me...” She sighed. Her vision was covered with white, white snow. Pure nothingness, the attack that brought her here. Her problems were rearing themselves where ever she looked. She closed her eyes to face darkness instead.

“I want to protect you, Kagome.” Kouga said, he walked over to the frame before him that could order anything from him, he wanted desperately to just grab her and force her in his arms again. He couldn’t, not if it wasn’t what she wanted; even if it went against his preference absolutely. They locked into a despondent gaze.

“I know, Kouga...” Was all Kagome felt like saying. She looked away from his hard blue vision. Unable to go through the trouble of telling him why she didn’t want to be carried. She didn’t bother to say no either. _I’m too tired to fight anymore, if he carries me anyway,_ a regular thought of hers, often after being saved, always being the weakest among her peers.

“Maybe you shouldn’t walk on the snow at all.” Kouga said. Kagome frowned, but raised an inquisitive eyebrow to his response.

“Well. It’s everywhere, and I have already tried avoiding it!” Her patience was low, her brain already upset with her for having an outburst.

“Perhaps you should navigate by the trees.” He said.

“Yeah right! I don’t know if you noticed Kouga, but I can’t jump like you demons either!” Kagome crossed her arms.

“Then find a way within your own means.” He said back. His tone was serious, but Kagome felt like she was being messed with. She sighed, slumping her shoulders forward..

“Kagome, let’s stop for food, water, and rest. You will find a way to navigate, you’ve got an answer for everything.” Kouga said. Kagome felt his hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to his eyes, she didn’t recognize the look he had on. His mouth was still turned up, his embossed blue eyes _weren’t sympathetic_; they were steady and resolute.

“You aren’t looking at me like I’m weak.” Kagome stated to those eyes.

“Because you aren’t. If I’m honest. _I really _want to carry you, but… That would make you upset. After seeing you focus so much on just the snow today, it made me fall deeper in love with you. I’ll do anything to protect you Kagome, and I promised you I wouldn’t pick you up without permission, and I intend to keep it.” He said.

_Another admission of his love_, Kagome thought. She didn’t know what to think of this one, but it reminded her of Inuyasha, but in a different way. Her other half would never...give her space like this. Inuyasha didn’t have the patience for her to do anything herself; let alone take time to learn. Kagome felt hot, he had such a biting way with words, _sometimes_.

Kouga still had his hand reassuringly on her shoulder, but both of their eyes looked anywhere but each other. At least they didn’t see how red the other’s cheek’s were. That was a hard statement for Kouga to make. It was purely a guess of what Kagome might want, it could’ve been a mistake. Kouga always acted on his impulses, and it always worked out,_ until Kagome._ His thoughts still prattled and accused him, saying she wanted to be picked up, she simply liked playing hard to get. He ignored them as best he could.

Kouga removed his hand. He scratched the back of his neck. “So… is that a good plan?” He mumbled.

Kagome nodded, her simper on full display.

Together they found a small clearing underneath a large tree. Kagome hadn’t been able to find any roots for eating. Kouga had told her to start a fire while he went to search for food; he left before Kagome could squeak out that she didn’t know how. Kagome’s current position was making a pile of anything dry she could find. A few branches. It was definitely a bigger pile than it needed to be.

_You got this Kagome, you two just had a talk about independence, you can start a fire...Just need a few more branches….I’m not stalling...Nope! _She was thinking.

“Alright. Alright… I can do this!” She looked at her pile. She grabbed a flat slice of bark, and a small stick. “Just like in [Cast Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y7wqpSZnjs)!” She spun the stick on the bark and gently blew on it. Absolutely nothing happened. She tried again as she tried to remember anything she might have learned about this from school. She drew a blank. She looked side to side quickly, hoping to not see Kouga and to see something that could help her.

“Hah...Um...” Kagome looked around. Maybe it would have been easier if everything wasn’t wet or covered in snow. “Fire comes from friction. It’s just a chemical reaction. I can do this...” She whispered to herself, she gripped her hair and released it; she went back to the bark and stick, desperately attempting to heat them up.

“So I caught four rabbits, and a fox. I didn’t know how many rabbits you could eat, so I figured if you wanted the-”

“Oh! Kouga!” Kagome shot up to him. “Um. How are things?” She put on her best smile.

“Uh...great...What exactly have you been doing?” He peered above her, and slid past her side to look what she had done in the meantime.

“Oh...You know. Making a fire!” She slid in front of Kouga to block his view. “Um… Wow...You know a thing you should go for a good...long..run!” Kagome said, waving her hands in front of his face.

Kouga looked at her with a disconcerted smile, knit of his eyebrows, and a sideways incredulous look. Kagome paled at his reaction, and didn’t impede him from walking past.

“What...what is this?!” Kouga gave an unreserved laugh. He put down what he was holding. “Kagome. Do you know how to make a fire?” He crouched down to her bark and stick.

“Um...” Kagome muttered.

“It has a little bit of heat, so you got somewhere. And this isn’t how you lay out wood either.” Kouga crossed his arms and turned to Kagome. She stood staring with her hands behind her back.

“Um. The air got to it!” She laughed.

“I can teach you to make a fire, Kagome.” Kouga smirked. His face comprised of that infernal, focused, self-satisfaction. She stood there, the sudden dopey facade breaking. _She really could use learning to make a fire._ Kagome relaxed a little. She gave a small nod and walked next to where Kouga was.

“Grab the small pieces and hold them upright where you want the fire to be.” Kouga nodded to her pile. Kagome looked, his face and tvoice, they weren’t so joking anymore; he wanted to teach her, and actually _intended_ too. A soft shudder from his resolute tone sent a chill down her back. Kagome lowered down and arranged the wood. Next he told her to lay the larger pieces around it.

“Like this?” Kagome had both her hands tensely on the stack.

“It could be worse.” Was all Kouga said. He handed her the wood she used before to start a fire, and she slowly took her hands off her stack of wood. She took them from him. She watched as Kouga grabbed something similar and sat down.

“You have to give life into the wood.” He began sliding the pieces across each other, Kagome frantically attempted the maneuver. “The wood comes into it’s next life as fire.” Smoke began to come from his wood. Kagome’s wasn’t producing the same results. “Then fire is alive, and consumes wood.” Kouga placed dry kindling to his work.

“Look.” He said. He cupped the smoking kindling and gently blew on it; it began to combust in his hand. Awestruck, Kagome looked at the deep reflection in Kouga’s eyes; to her, his tough nature was cold, like his eyes. As she watched the fire bloom in his hands, she saw likeness in Kouga. He was a man of burning intensity, thrill, and _passion_. The look left his eyes as soon as it was borne, his fist’s closed choking the fire within.

“Now you do it.” He sat cross-legged, cross-armed, and looked at Kagome. She got so caught up in her staring, she focused back on the task. Clammy anxious grip stoked the bark. _We should’ve just used his…_ Kagome thought to herself. _But then it wouldn’t be a lesson._ She felt her attempts to be futile.

“Don’t be so gentle. Work it back and forth faster.” Kouga said. _Oh my god, _Kagome thought. She looked at Kouga in a wide-eyed stare. _Girl, get your head out of the gutter._ She tried again a few more times, she didn’t need a fire as much anymore; she was going to catch on fire before she learned to make one. She sighed and set them down. She felt a shutter up her spine, it could only be one thing:

Kouga smirking at her.

“No one gets it on their first try.” He said and moved to make another.

Kagome awoke from her nap feverishly, she felt more fatigued than when she went down. Kouga was nearby the fire.

“Ugh….” Kagome pushed herself up. She remembed laying by the fire, she must’ve fallen into a nap.

“Hey, are you hungry?” Kouga, who Kagome saw was hunched over focused on something, turned up and asked her.

“Oh my god, yes.” She gasped

“Help yourself, I’ve already eaten.” Kouga nodded towards the other side of the fire. Kagome stretched and groaned as the pang of a tired body weighing her down. She walked to the direction Kouga mentioned. Kagome’s eye’s widened, she was frozen, stupefied.

“You mean these bunnies?!” She yelped and jumped back. There were two little bunnies lifeless , their eyes looked drained, their bodies crudely sprawled. Her leap of surprise didn’t land, and she fell down. Hand over her mouth, the other clutching the earth for support.

“Kagome?! What’s wrong?” Kouga was in front of her before she could blink. He knelt down onto one knee and looked around for the danger. “What’s wrong?” He asked again, looking to Kagome, who began to get up and dust herself off.

“Kouga… I think I’ve lost my appetite...” She said. She felt stupid, as if a wolf would bring back vegetables, roots, and herbs. She should have known better. Kouga came closer. “Are you sure?” Kouga grabbed her hand in both of his. He looked down on her and his soft touch and reflection was lost along the way through Kagome’s exhaustion, or maybe she just didn’t care. She took her hand away and walked back to the fire.

“Uh-huh...” She spoke downwards. She stood for a time, insulting herself. She had seen so much worse when demons would fight. _Bunnies were so innocent… it was a different kind of strength needed to see that, and Kagome realized she didn’t have it._

“Can we go?” Kagome whispered and brought her hands to her heart. She felt tears welling up. She tilted her head until her bangs hid them.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Kouga grabbed his things and quickly caught up with her. He looked at Kagome. He placed a hand on her shoulder as they walked side by side. “What’s wrong?” He asked. He couldn’t see her reaction, her lips only, and she bit them. He tried to perceive her feeling, and what she might need.

“Uh… Wanna talk about it?” He asked. Again, her head shook.

So Kouga kept his mouth shut for awhile. Until Kagome seemed better. Until her brown eyes were looking at her surrounding again. He had to wait longer than he expected.

Deeper into the forest, more shade and trees crowding is where they found themselves. The sky unable to make itself seen except between the shadow’s of the great thickets.

“Orange.” Kouga said suddenly. Kagome looked over in surprise to see Kouga was watching for her reaction.

“What?” She asked. Her mind has finally begun trailing off, she was in the middle of thinking about her little brother, and how he might be.

“Orange. My favorite color. I remember you thought it’s something we should know about each other. Yours?” He smiled. Kagome recalled and lightly returned a smile.

“Pink!” She suddenly laughed and covered her face. “I know it’s so typical for a girl to like pink!” She laughed.

“I don’t think it’s strange to like pink. Is it a human thing?” Kouga was grinning at her.

“Trying to find extra ways to tease me, Kouga? Not gonna work!” She huffed and exaggeratedly pouted her lips.

“Tease you? I would never!” Kouga hung his arm around Kagome’s outside shoulder and brought her closer as they walked.

“Now tell me or I’ll reverse the grooming I did on your hair!” He flew his other hand above her hair and held it there. “No! No!” Kagome giggled and covered her head with both hands. “I’ll talk, I’ll talk!” She yelled through upturned lips. Kouga lowered his hand, and let go of her shoulder.

“Where I’m from at least. Pink means you are shallow. If a girl likes pink there is nothing exceptional about her, and she is an air-head.” She huffed as she ended her sentence. She could _could _feel it coming!

“Sounds about right to me!” Kouga said.

“Sounds about right to me!” Kagome said at the same time, in a lower harsher voice, trying to imitate Kouga. She laughed so hard at him she had to hold her chest and stop to take gasping breaths. “You are so predictable, Kouga!” She wiped an eye; her laughter brought her to tears!

Kouga looked at her as his eyesight narrowed but his smirk evolved. Kagome sniffed as she began controlling her laughter. She looked up to Kouga with as much teeth as possible, she blinked innocent blinks at him. She was still trying to hold back her laughter at beating Kouga at his own game.

“Oh!” Kouga said and let out a dark chuckle. “Acting cute will not work on me, sweetheart!” He growled and stepped to Kagome. She squeaked in fear and started running away. She yelled as she ran. “No! No!” Between laughs.

“Oh, running away is the worst idea!” Kouga started chasing her, letting her think she was getting away for a short time, and only trailing her a little. That was, until Kagome looked back with a breathless grin and yelled. “Don’t call me sweetheart either!” as stuck out her tongue. Kouga caught her immediately, and they were both on the ground looking at each other. The moment was not lost by Kouga, if you went by the color of his cheeks. Kagome still laughed and yelped as she started backing away.

“The trees! I’ve gotta learn quick!” She giggled and ran ito the nearest tree as she got up, sorely attempting to grab branches and find a hold for her feet. Kouga, after shaking his head and gaining back temperament, only had to saunter over to Kagome. He crossed his arms and watched as she turned around and pressed her back to the tree gazed at him, a naughty smile on her face, if he had ever seen one.

“I’ve already won, Kouga.” Kagome haughtily raised her chin and looked down at him(as best she could from her lower height). Kouga responded by quickly stomping both hands on the tree around Kagome’s frame. _It’s her turn, _he thought as he did so. So close to Kagome now, he saw from her sharp inhale and reddening face she was the one flustered now. He watched as her hair fell from the force of the move. The lineament of her face as her hair fell back into it’s place was a thousand petal rose blooming; no matter what she had up her sleeve, Kouga knew he was the real winner after beholding that.

“And hows that? Looks as if I could devour you anytime I choose.” He locked onto Kagome’s eyes. The stare between them became adversary, it’s intensity growing quickly. Kagome’s knowing smile rivaled the charming grin Kouga wore.

“Because I’m not ticklish!” She smiled and gave a double victory. Kouga huffed through his nose in amusement. “Oh, that’s all?” He responded. “Then you wouldn’t mind if I...” he moved a hand to her abdomen. _Oh no! He’s calling my bluff! _Kagome thought, she stood frozen motionless. Suddenly was forced into laughter, and Kouga was laughing too. She fell into his arms, and tried pushing his arms off, it was futile. He was behind her holding her close and relentlessly tickling her.

“No!” She cried between laughs. She squirmed and attempted escape. She fell into the snow heaving and holding her stomach; Kouga was next to her, both of them breathing heavily.

“Okay. I’ll take my loss. As long as there is no more tickling.” She looked over to him. He chuckled. He got up and reached out his arm to help Kagome up.

“Is that the secret to becoming alpha?” Kagome knew it wasn’t a good idea. She was becoming addicted to teasing Kouga, and he deserved it for tickling her!

“You bet it is!” He winked to her. Kagome grabbed his arm and they continued walking. Kagome holding a sweet smile on her face now, relishing the moment, the newfound energy, and the companion beside her. She had only ever been tickled by her friends at sleep-overs. It being done by Kouga made her blush; Kagome accepted the small blush, and was comforted by the way it helped warm her cheeks.

They walked for the rest of the day, making respectable progress despite the breaks. It was getting dark, and the cold was setting in too harsh to sleep without shelter. Kouga was digging into the dirt against a tree, as Kagome was attempting to start fire nearby.

Kagome had made a neat stack of wood from what she learned, and was trying again to start fire. _Just a simple reaction,_ she chanted in her mind. She was making smoke, and that was a big improvement from before. Her eyes started lighting up, the bark looked as if it could make a fire, she quickly put a piece of kindling inside and tried again. Kagome held her breath as the smoke came out of the kindling. “Oh my god, yes!” She shouted and bent over to look at it.

She remembered what Kouga had said next. He spoke of breathing life into it. She knew it was just breathing oxygen onto the fire so it could spread. Kagome liked something about how it seemed to Kouga a meaningful process, and it captivated her when he spoke with conviction. She closed her eyes and imagined breathing life into the kindling; small, shaken uncertain breaths, but breaths that gave life.

“I got it! I did it! Kouga! Come look!” Her kindling lit and she threw it onto her wood stack. Kagome gave more breaths so the fire could spread more, and it quickly did! “No way, I missed it?!” Kouga dashed over to watch. Kagome looked back at him, and she held a natural, real smile of pride and achievement.

“I actually did it!” She shouted and ran to Kouga. She hugged him tight to her, even putting her head on his chest. Kouga suddenly had all the air lost from his body, and his arms were in the air around Kagome, not sure if he should hold her back. “You did!” He laughed and looked at the innocence and amusement she had.

She blushed and let go of him. “Hehe… Sorry.” She looked away, but Kouga couldn’t stop looking at her face.

“You are so enchanting.” He watched her, his brain taken over by every component that made up the woman before him. He walked towards Kagome and grabbed both of her hands, a part of him knew it would ruin the moment, but he had too, if she could see him that way... He looked into her face, and as routine, she didn’t look back.

“I love you, Kagome. You deserve anything you have ever wanted. I would do anything for you, just for a chance at seeing that smile again.” He said to her, his eyes half lidded. He looked like he was in a trance.

“Kouga… I don’t… You know I don’t, don’t you?” Kagome couldn’t say to his face, so she said it towards the sky.

“Part of me does.” He sighed and closed his eyes. He could feel the warmth as the fire bred. “If anything you want doesn’t include me, I still want to make sure I help you achieve it.” He opened his eyes, she was studying his face, and as his lids rose Kagome looked him in his eyes.

“Thank you.” She whispered. Kouga couldn’t identify the look on her face. D_oes she understand? That I’ll never stop loving her, because she already has me? _He thought. Kouga loosened his grip on the hands he was holding, and both pairs fell to their sides.

“Here.” Kouga said and grabbed reached for something behind him. He smiled at Kagome reassuringly.

Kagome looked at the outstretched hands. It was bone knives._ They must be made out of those bunnies! _She thought. That must have been what he was doing when she woke up from that nap. Kagome felt sick to her stomach as the imagine was conjured again. Her face readied itself for puking, and her mind convulsed with the sight. Kouga noticed.

“I just thought...you said you didn’t want me to protect you, and it would be a start in defending yourself...” He stammered out, all anticipation leaving his eyes. Kagome furrowed her brows as the confusion hit her. He was listening to her, and caring for her in a way she had always asked Inuyasha. She felt like hiding under her bed until the horror movie was over; like she had done so when she was a child. This time, she was an adult, and needed to do something to have this end. _To just have all this be over, she didn’t want to think about her feelings for Inuyasha or for Kouga!_

“Um….thanks...” She grabbed them from Kouga and sat next to the fire. She covered her face with her hands, but no tears dare came. She couldn’t see Kouga’s face, and didn’t want too.

“Kagome, let’s just get some rest now.” Kouga said, totally defeated. Kagome felt the reassuring hand on her shoulder. She nodded, and followed to see what Kouga had been working on.

“So we get in and put leaves and branches on top.” He said.

“It’s just a tiny hole.” Kagome said, she was looking down into it. How were they going to sleep in that>

“It’s best we can have. It won’t be so bad. We will have to sleep sitting up really close but it will be dry, and warm.” Kouga shrugged. Kagome sighed. “Let me hang out my shoes and socks to dry first.” She looked at him finally. It was like nothing happened. He had his cool demeanor, his passive look back on his face. It felt perplexing. _He must be acting like everything is okay, should I let him? _Kagome thought as she fixed her shoes upside down near the fire. She shook her head to herself. _Causing him emotional pain, then trying to comfort him about it would be cruel…_

She came back to Kouga. She nodded, and he easily lifted her and placed her down. He slid inside and covered the top with branches and herbage. It wasn’t entirely dark yet, and Kagome and Kouga looked at each other.

“So...we sit up and sleep in this hole...” Kagome was only now understanding the depth of what that would take. She sat against the earthen wall and slid lazily. She let out her legs as much as possible, they hit the wall when they were only half way stretched. She sighed. Kouga sat next to her, not that there was much choice. He crossed his legs under Kagome’s; he had to move her, a lot. Kagome felt like any more movement and she would be on his lap.

“Do you have to do this a lot?” She asked in a hushed voice.

“Only the last time I was in weather like this, when I was a child, and my parents were testing me.” He whispered back.

“Oh, that must have been hundreds of years ago...” Kagome trailed off.

“What?” He said.

“Aren’t demon’s very old?” Kagome defended.

“Yes, and most are. Wolf demons usually do not make it that far. We live dangerously, and have to take a lot of chances for the pack to survive.” He said.

“Then, how old are you?”

“I’ve seen twenty-two springs.” He said back.

“Springs? You must mean years. You really are so young?” She thought. _That seems right, actually Kouga is never in those fifty years ago flashbacks…_

“You, Kagome?” He asked.

“Me? I’m seventeen.” She laughed as she said. _Two years since all this started…_ she thought.

Kagome felt heavy, her head rolled back into the dirt and a contented sigh came out.

“I’m so exhausted.” She sighed. The day of rummaging in the snow. Her mind going wild, learning to make fire, and actually doing it! _And the intrusive thoughts, about Inuyasha._ Kagome felt so alone without him, but something changed in the way she saw him. How could Kouga be so much younger than Inuyasha but so much more..._What is it about Kouga?_ He had a control that Inuyasha didn’t. She missed Inuyasha, but felt happier than she could remember when playing and teasing with Kouga. She had to keep rejecting him, getting harsher each time. _No outbursts, no need to slap him in the face though…_

It was too dark to see, but Kagome knew Kouga was sitting still with his eyes closed. Kagome held her hands in her legs for warmth. Touching the soft pelts Kouga gave her since they began this horrible quest. Kagome suddenly wished she knew everything about Kouga, his disposition made him so curious; so opposite of the brevity of his actions in a fight._ But, anything I would ask he might feel I was leading him on_, she thought, looking at back her playing and hugging him. Kagome really pitied him, but taking on his feelings so often had been hard on her too.

“Kouga, I want you to be my friend. A close friend.” She whispered.

“Yes, my Angel.” Kouga said absently. Kagome wanred to say she didn’t like that name either, but she wasn’t sure Kouga was entirely awake. She began to focus on her own dreaming…

Kouga was awake, only barely hearing Kagome’s words. He couldn’t move, couldn’t grit his teeth, couldn’t clench his fists; Kagome would notice anything. He was angry, and needed arduous rumination. The way she looked, the way she smelled. The precious sound of her laughter. The way she focused on making that fire, on solving her problems. _Humans must be fond of tricks and tools, or maybe just my small woman saw potential in them… _He was cross at himself instantly as he mentioned Kagome in his thoughts.

He didn’t deserve to hear her delicate breaths. He didn’t deserve to look at her. His punishment enough was being so close, loving her this much, and knowing she was uncomfortable. He sulked in his purgatorial instability and as he did he felt soft feathered hair touch his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Kagome must have fallen asleep, and her head fell onto his shoulder. He shut his eyes and squeezed them so hard he saw red. He wanted to be out of control, to run until his heart gave out; Yet still, he wanted to be hurt so badly, because it came from her, and even if it seared him; it was more exciting than any event he has ever known. If she wanted him as a friend, he would have to learn to covet the moments he got; he couldn’t take them anymore.

She must think him a beast for taking and admitting his love during the excitement as she made the fire. It was as she gave life to it, and it took over Kouga. _She looked like a goddess who could breathe energy into anything. _The way she loved pink, like a newborn pup’s nose; Like succulent scarce fruit; like spring time. She was too much for him with her divination. It was impulsive, and stupid; her rejection again only made him love her more. _She is incredibly loyal to that mutt, er.. Inuyasha as she wanted me to say, does he even know what he has?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Depiction of rabbit being processed for meat

“How many days has it been?” Kouga said aimlessly as he looked to the sky. Alongside Kagome as they walked the familiar snow-studded forest.

“Five. If you count the afternoon we arrived.” Kagome said. She had her hands clasped together, for the obvious warmth it afforded; but mostly for keeping the trembling at bay. There was little interaction since that night she asked for Kouga’s friendship. It has been very cordial, courteous, and... silent. Even her thoughts were escaping her most of the time. Hypnotized by the encircling eternal snow, or dizziness.

It shifted, whatever was between them. Still kind and gentle to her, Kouga had been bridled by his high-stakes brain. A pendulum swung in place of rationality. It was towering between anger and passion. Kouga who wanted to be an active learner, was swept and barraged into an intense lethargy and dispirit. Barely holding it off.

“It will be night soon.” Kouga stated.

“I know. I promised.” Kagome gritted her disheartened teeth, she gripped her hands harder together.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m going to help.” He said, his voice still unwavering, yet lacking any sliver of optimism. It was not lightweight banters lately, it was deep thoughts with little to show for it.

As the evening took it’s course Kagome searched her reluctant brain, futilely offering happy thoughts or encouraging images. Of home, that was most of what she thought of any more. Her Mama, Grandpa, and little brother Souta. She thought about the last time she told them she loved them, thought about them for comfort, it was home, it was safe and warm there. She rolled Inuyasha in her thoughts, never having the courage to really say she loved him; it gave her respect for Kouga, who really lived every day like it was his last. Kagome was starting to understand a mindset like that.

Kouga busied the evening walk by taking in the smell of the forest. Slight changes had been going on, much more snow would be ahead. The entire stay and not a single smell of demon. Only rabbits, foxes, and the occasional feline. All were mysteriously white in fur; not once had he seen a white hare or fox back in the mountains. He tried to keep his mind from rattling, from preying on him. No thoughts were needed to be contemplated, and doing so would only cause added stress. That meant he just had to take in the forest, the sights, smells and sound. It was terrible.

A new problem ripened as they saw the end of the tree line. It was impeccable, beautiful, and tormenting. Before the horizon was…

“Mountains?” Kagome took in the sight first.

“It is….this is where we first started, isn’t it?” She whispered and saw the injured force barrel into the ground. Kouga collapsed. The desolate frozen tundra bounded before them for a second time.

“Kouga?!” Kagome knelt to peer at his face. His posture, his form all looked like he was in pain to her, his face told its own story. It was distorted, and had a look of complete fixation on the snow.

“You aren’t in pain, are you Kouga?” Kagome’s voice rang past his ears. “The look those eyes, awe… and reverence.” She whispered. He gave her a quick glance, before looking back at the snow and closing his eyes. “You are looking at it, and understanding it’s true strength.” She said her thought again, thinking maybe ‘reverence’ was not an ancient word any demon would understand. _More words from that ninja village…_ She thought to herself. Kouga let out his breath with an upset sigh.

“Tonight. We have to talk.” He said.

“Yes, we do.” Kagome reached her hand out, and his found it. The electric contact took Kagome’s breath away. In a moment she was the one being held up, and her hands were surrounded by those freshly charged ones. She watched him under glazed eyes as he held his hands around hers. Focusing on anything wasn’t going to happen. _Oh...I shouldn’t let him so close to me like this…_ her mind reminded Kagome it’s last impression of personal space; her attempt at counter argument didn’t happen. She really shouldn’t let him so close… yet she didn’t move.

“Let me make camp.” Kouga stated. He dropped her hands soundlessly as his tail uninhibitedly whipped the air as he turned. His face in quiet concentration and his throat emitting a disturbed gnarling.

“I promised. I promised.” Kagome whispered to herself. Still standing where Kouga took her hands. Now she held them close to her face, retaining the warmth and taking in the presence he left behind.

“I am going to help you, Kagome.” Kouga patiently waited by the budding fire. “We have looked for edible plants and roots. I’m sorry.”

“It’s just... I love bunnies… They are so cute… and...” She winced as she tried to look in the direction. The direction of that attractive..._fire. Yeah, fire. _

“You haven’t eaten since we got here. I know when you promise you mean it, Kagome.” Kouga said, and he was right. Last night Kouga _fed._..and again Kagome refused to eat. Finally she promised, if they had to spend another night, she would eat.

That promise, she thought, it was time. She was beyond hunger. Nauseated and exhaustion was her tool so far, and still after two days it was powerless to ignore. No amount of snow helped curve her need for nutrients. At home, meat was so different from these beings surviving; attempting to endure just like her. Kouga was patiently waiting, already hunted and killed animals were somewhere near. Did he understand? _Could he understand?_

Kagome made her way to him, Kouga’s blue eyes looked like boiling water from popping as the fire’s gnawing reflected; she watched them more carefully the nearer she got. She stopped only when she saw herself inside the cracking pupils. She smiled, the empty feeling inside her evaporating.

“Here.” Kouga chuckled, finally feeling energy emitting from the beauty approaching him, conductivity scaling every sense of apprehension he had for her comfort. His only goal anymore was to see to it Kagome wasn’t upset more by his carnal love for her. It was scaring her since he first proposed. Now he hesitantly look a lesson in subtlety by process of elimination; _but making sure to stay a friend. A close friend,_ she had said. Now she was, standing near him, smiling into his eyes.

He interrupted before it was more than he could take, and told her to sit down, his voice gentle, but focused on the task at hand. The perfect way to ruin her perfect smile, it seemed.

Kouga grabbed the rabbit by it’s ears. It limply bounded across the ground and body onto Kagome’s lap.

“It’s still warm.” Kagome gasped.

“I like them warm, don’t you?” Kouga leaned before her.

“I have never eaten rabbit.” Kagome felt the confidence fluctuate again, tagging along with her rapid heartbeat. The worst part was how nice the blanket of fur felt on her lap. Droplets of sweat beaded on her forehead, she couldn’t tell if from being too warm or too nervous. Her starved brain didn’t have those answers anymore. Involuntarily, she shuddered.

_ If I’m going to have to eat these animals, I have know how it works. _That was another line she said in the previous night. It would be hypocritical, if she shielded herself from processing the animals she would eat.

Kouga, still low to the earth, trekked behind her. As he examined Kagome turn pale and catch her breathing, soon her breath steadied and eyes opened to the Hare.

“Pinch the skin here. Make a hole.” His arm shadowed her own, he tested whether he could make contact. Kagome seemed to be purposely leaning back into him, Kouga took gently held her wrists to guide them. Easily his unrestricted hands could manipulate hers; they seemed so small in his, he was caught off guard by how pruned they were.

“Kagome, you don’t have to-”

“I know.” Her voice cracked with as much intimidation that was left. She heaved, straightened herself, and using that bone knife, penetrated the skin. Kagome swelled, a sudden dizziness coming on for a split second. A rush of fever, she had started, and now she had to finish.

“Then you rip it apart.” Kouga said. Kagome felt his arms drop from hers. _This one alone, eh? _She thought. She put her hands onto the rabbit. Petting it a few times, feeling a triumph stirred her rationalization. This animal wasn’t going to waste, it would feed her. Never will she stop thanking it. Within gritted teeth Kagome whimpered as she took to the skin.

_ Rip. Rip it apart. _ She sucked in. _Only going to do this once. _ She gulped. _I won’t tear at a rabbit half skinned, that is just too horrifying to consider._ Gently she pushed the fur taut. _It has to happen. _There was no more air to suck in, Kagome clenched her throat as she closed her eyes and ripped the hole open. The breath came out, a horrified gasp.

“Good!” Kouga was elated. Never before had it been so difficult to teach any wolf how to do it, but it was so hard for Kagome. _Why?_

“Y-yeah...Good.” Kagome looked at the ground below. The body had fallen with the force she applied, and it no longer looked like a bunny at all; it almost relieved her, as if the soul had moved on and what was left was the meat. _Almost_ , Kagome bit her tongue and mouth hard, sour tears forced themselves to the surface. She cursed to herself, she wanted to be strong. _That had to be the worst part… _She shuttered. Reassuring hands held her shoulders in place. Kouga moved to Kagome’s side.

“Now its easy. Let me show the easy part?” Kouga flashed Kagome a small smile. His eyes had the same gleam in them, the same confidence filling her as she looked into them. Kagome heard the sound of her teeth chattering, the cold sweat and hot tears unsettled her. She didn’t know she was crying, or so hot. Wasn’t she freezing cold? Letting her eyes fall to her lap, her hands were shaking profusely. Kouga was curiously looking deep into her face. At some point he held both clammy hands in one of his, and wrapped her closer to him. He was whispering, but Kagome couldn’t understand.

She felt disgusting inside and out. Outside she was in five days worth of dirt, always frozen or soaked from being frozen. No blood had come out, but she felt soaked in filth and remorse. She began to tune back in, the soothing voice piercing her mind.

“It’s almost over, I’m here for you, I’ve seen hunt in your eyes, just like how you saw something in mine earlier.” He said, and kept repeating.

“Kouga, thank you.” Kagome held her face in both hands, closing his view from how ugly the unintended crying must have made her. He didn’t smile, but continued his resolved stare. It’s intensity gave her all she needed to finish this job.

“So, Show me the easy part?” Kagome relaxed her arms onto her lap and sniffed her running nose.

“Yeah!” Kouga look the carcass. “This is surprisingly easy to do.” Kouga then cracked the head backwards, and pulled it off completely in a single swift movement.

Kagome turned into a ghost.

“I can’t do this!” She screamed in agony, ungracefully supported herself into a stand, and ran away.

“Kagome? Is it something I did? What’s wrong?!” Kouga chased behind. Kagome was headed to the end of the tree line, her figure receding as her hair wildly flustered across her back. The only answer he received was her clumsily stepping on branches as she ran. She stopped and leaned on a tree. Her hand on it’s opposite elbow. Her face avoiding the horizon in front of her.

Kouga stood frozen. What should he do? Say something? He couldn’t get a good look at her face, her bangs obscured them. He fought off any romantic feelings he longed to gift her. Biting his lip and piercing it with a fang. The sharp slice of pain came as his mind conducted the way he needed to approach, as _a friend…_

“Let me help.” He said.

The whimpering she emitted stopped, her head slid in his direction, her brown eyes were broken stained glass. Her stance, her slump, her hands rejoined; Kouga did not know how to help her like this, but he had to try. He wished he could offer a confession, that he would protect her. That couldn’t happen anymore. She didn’t want to be protected. His heart raced, his eyebrows sharpened and his demeanor turned serious; _I can’t back down, I’m already her servant. She owns me with a look_, he thought.

“Oh, Kouga!” She ran towards him and into his arms. Her gasps turned to guttural, ghastly sobs. Her dry eyes and throat doing their best without hydration. Kouga caught her, only laying his hands on her in surprise as she toppled him to the ground.

“I don’t want to be here anymore!” Kagome clumsily cried into Kouga’s shoulder. “Oh, Kagome...” He whispered. His arms tight around her, his legs sprawled on each side of her, crossing them around her body. Pressing her completely into him. She waned and tightly pressed her hands onto the bare skin above his breast. They were so cold, it felt like hot iron and cold water when her hands first touched.

“We’re stuck here! They can’t find us! We’re in a snow-globe of Naraku’s design!” She made out between sobs. Kouga held her and listened.

“I’m… so scared. I don’t want to die here.” She said. Kouga rested a hand where her neck was. He closed his eyes and leaned his chin on top of her head.

Kouga whispered “No…” He waited. Kagome continued sobbing.

“Kagome?” He asked.

She sputtered a noise.

“It will be living here.”

She sobbed harder. Kouga didn’t mind. After all she isn’t the one stranded with her true love. His was fortune and hers was, well, imprisonment.

“I’m so sorry Kagome.” He said. Returning to its deep tone, his voice reverberated around them. Kagome stopped holding her head, it became complete dead weight on his shoulder. Her sobbing raised and faded for several minutes. Kouga simply held her.

“I have family back home. I have a little brother, my mom, my grandpa. I have school, friends, and a whole life ahead of me...” Kagome said, more might to her voice. She spoke strained, but resonant.

“I have my pack. I’m their alpha.” Kouga responded. “We have a lot to miss out on.”

“I miss Inuyasha.” She said softly.

“What is he?” Kouga said. His hand on her neck beginning to trifle with strains of her hair. “To you, I mean.” Kagome fell silent for some time before she gave a heavy sigh.

“He is a big jerk. He is rude, arrogant, short-tempered and dangerous. He is sweet to me sometimes. Other times there is a barrier between us. If he was here right now I would give him a piece of my mind. I miss him so much. I’m so worried about him. I’m so mad at him. I don’t know what he is.”

“Sounds like love sick.” Kouga whispered gently. His blood was spiked with envious rage. Yet she brought him up, he would hear what she needed to say. _No way he was about to turn this into something about him, Kagome was breaking down in his arms._

“More like it’s complicated.” Kagome huffed.

“Complicated? He doesn’t love you?”

“Who knows what he feels for me. Inuyasha will hold me, then push me away. He won’t even call me Kagome sometimes, just woman. He has kind moments too, but it never feels like he wants to go anywhere with it. It’s because of Kikyo, he still loves her. Once, when I had nothing to wear they put me in priestess clothing, and Inuyasha tried to kiss me!” She spoke above a whisper, and seemed to have some spirit back.

“Wha – Kikyo? Who is that? He tried to kiss you?!” Kouga erupted. Kagome laughed in response.

“Kikyo” Kagome began “Is a priestess who trapped Inuyasha by an enchanted arrow for fifty years. They used to be an item, and so they wanted the scared jewel for Inuyasha to become human. Kikyo just so happened to be the guardian of the jewel, but when it was time to meet-up and make the wish Naraku tricked them into double crossing each other. Kikyo died after she hit Inuyasha with the arrow. I woke him up two years ago, I was able to take the arrow out since I am Kikyo’s reincarnation.”

“Huh!?” Kouga exasperated. Kagome giggled in his arms. “It’s a lot to take in, I know.”

“So, Inuyasha tried to kiss you?” Kouga asked again.

“Yes, once when I wore the same outfit Kikyo does. I just told you.” She giggled.

“Still Does? I thought she was dead?” Kouga took a moment to scratch his head.

“Yeah. She was revived by a witch into a new body made out of clay. She uses the spirits of recently departed young women to stay alive. Also why Inuyasha keeps running back to her over and over.” She laughed. _It feels pretty good to laugh about all this, it’s been really stressing me out for so long now… It’s all so complex it’s almost silly._

“Oh next time I see him...” Kouga grasped tighter onto her body in her arms for extra emphasis.

“If we ever see them again.” Kagome sighed.

“C’mon, Naraku at least will have to come kill us and take our shards. We’ll just hitch a ride with ’em.” Kouga said. Kagome huffed.

“I lose hope of that every passing moment, he probably doesn’t even know where we are. I bet he doesn’t even know he teleported us, he probably just thinks he eradicated the shards we had along with us.” Kagome said.

“If you are right. It means the rest of the group will be win. They will be able to kill Naraku since he can’t complete the jewel.” Kouga said.

Kagome relaxed her muscles some. “I hope so, Kouga.” She shuffled herself around, briefly meeting his curious eye contact. Kagome settled back down with her back on his chest, resting her neck on his. Both of them looking at the sun, which was soon to set.

“Hope is what keeps my pack alive. Now I just hope they can bounce back without me.” Kouga said, his heavy breaths took place of his words.

“I miss my mom. You know Kouga, sometimes its nice to have a break and go home to my mom and little brother. They’re like my pack.” Kagome rolled her head into his.

Kouga didn’t notice the luxury intimacy Kagome gave, whatever she talked about was surprising to him. _ She doesn’t consider Inuyasha and that group her pack? _Ran through his brain.

“Tell me about them, your mother.” He said.

“My mama always gets me. I can tell her anything. She is understanding, warm, and a _very _patient woman. She always launders and irons my uniform. When I’m gone, she makes a seat for me in case I come home, with a hot meal and everything.” Kagome closed her eyes and imagined she was home, talking with her mom. Lately it had been about so many frustrating things with Inuyasha. Mama was offering advice, but she wasn’t listening. She was brushing her hair and thinking about what she would say next to Inuyasha.

“I really took her for granted.” She sighed as her eyes opened. Kouga was silent, she wondered if he even listened, he still held on and caressed her arms. It was sensual enough to make her feel flushed if her brain would focus, but as it was it seemed just right.

“Let’s not take this for granted.” Kouga said. “We’ll spend every minute we have training, for that moment the fight comes to us.”

“Training? I’m always cold. I have no warm clothes.” Kagome said.

“We’ll make you clothes.” Kouga responded. Both of their voices were causal as they watched the sun lower. The deep orange sparking the horizon to glow.

“I don’t have Kikyo’s bow.” She slowly returned. Kagome felt something welling up inside her.

“Pfft. You use her bow too? We’ll make you a new one.” Kouga said as the sun began it’s dip into the infinite horizon. The glowing light faded slowly,

“I suppose we have nothing else to do...” Kagome’s upcoming feeling started to blossom into excitement, or was it nausea?

“You know, I’m not convinced you are anyone’s reincarnation, Kagome. You have a soul all to yourself.” Kouga said. _Oh, it’s nausea, definitely. _Kagome thought.

“Its a sure thing. It’s not up for debate...” She sighed.

“You’ve got nothing on this Kikyo, Kagome. Your soul belongs to you. It’s loyal, pure, and strong. Ain’t no way ‘nother woman had it before.” Kouga accidentally bared his fangs at the end.

Kagome was ...surprised by the sentiment. She was so used to being compared to Kikyo, but _someone actually arguing in her favor? _She smiled and settled herself.

They watched the twilight peacefully. Kagome repeating those words in her head, letting them sink in. The sun fell into the untold space below the horizon. As darkness swept over her, she still felt alive, and warm in Kouga’s arms. She didn’t feel so alone, _and she felt frustratingly lonely lately._ It wasn’t nausea, it was the butterflies in her stomach. Against herself, she wanted to see where the future would lead her. Her and _Kouga._

It was quiet for a long time. Kagome took all her breathe in and slowly let it out.

“You- you won’t be mad at me for this one, will you?” Kouga said in a whisper. The giggle was all the answer he needed. He just needed to check he wasn’t in trouble for this one.

“What do we do about the rabbit situation?” Kagome stretched.

“You’ll have to tell me, are you ready to head back then, my bunny?” Kouga’s normal mocking voice was back.

“No way that nick-name is gonna happen! Now help me up Kouga, I can’t see in the dark like this!”

Laughter followed behind them as they trekked back.

Kagome held meat, _real_ meat!. From the fire she just pulled it from, to check if it was ready. The aroma communicated it was perfectly. Inside her longing gaze she felt sorrow and gratitude; not pity from before, she felt newfound regard . On the other side of the dying fire was Kouga, he looked calm, but was still and steadily watching her. He wasn’t watching for if she might break down or cry, Kagome was teaching him something she knew from the ‘ninja village’. His captivated look was him waiting for her to start. He was sitting respectfully, and he didn’t seem natural that way, but it gave him a unique distinguished look.

Kagome set her food at the edge of the fire, as Kouga mirrored her. She put her hands together and closed her eyes, he followed suit.

“Itadakimasu.” They spoke in unison.

Kagome opened her eyes and smiled brilliantly, she chuckled shortly. Kouga opened his eyes.

“What’s so funny?” He gave her a dubious stare and an uncontrolled smirk. Every fang on display.

“Nothing. You did great, actually. I was just thinking about something.” Kagome took her food into her hands.

“Well, I guess you’re gonna tell me. Or do I have to ask?” He chuckled.

“You’ll have to ask! And politely next time. I’m thinking about how back where I come from, we say this at every meal. We have a ...philosophy, to humbly thank the food for the journey it took to be received by us. I never really thought about it, but I feel the weight of it now. It actually is very relieving. It’s also a promise to finish the food we received.” She said, the deep fulfilling emotion returning. The feeling of sharing something so private, she didn’t even know how personal it was until she said it. She blew into the food and a brief thought of thanks came with it as she bit. It was so delicious, after all that time without food.

“I have a lot of respect for that Kagome. I’ve never seen anything like it, wolves eat what they like...regardless of anything.” He said. He looked like he was still thinking. Kagome thought maybe she should inquire and cross thoughts, but he spoke again.

“I don’t know what I’m trying to say. You’ve taught me something like this the moment I met you. Now I’m impacted again and how your heart works. Thank you for teaching me.” He said and took his first bite.

Kagome hid a shy smile behind her hands. _Kouga really is such an amazing guy...No… an amazing man. _ She thought to herself. Her heart belonged to someone else, to Inuyasha, just like Kikyo’s soul did...so does hers. It felt so authentic here with Kouga, like she could speak and be heard. _Oh poor Kouga, I’m so sorry it’s me here, you must feel tortured. _She thought, but she felt that pity again, and replaced it with respect.

_I humbly thank you, Kouga. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you anyone reading this far in! What are your thoughts? What will happen to our little duo?


End file.
